\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4675571
Review #4675571
Viewing a review of:
To Take Flight Open in new Window. [E]
A poem written for a contest.
by Dancer Author Icon
Review of To Take Flight  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
** Image ID #1893180 Unavailable **
Review courtesy:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. and
"The Official Mod Review Blitz!" Open in new Window.


I visited your portfolio because it is your WDC Anniversary.

This is a bleak poem of longing for freedom. The tone is stark, perhaps to echo the mood. My favourite bit is the last line, about everyone belonging. That brought a bit of emotion into an otherwise austere piece. I also like the connection between a sense of freedom and a sense of belonging. That seems to be contrasting in a way, and yet is true. That's a lovely thought. It gave me an 'aha' moment.

I guess it was your intention to make this one sound cold. Somehow to me it is a bit devoid of emotion, it didn't move me much till the last line when I felt I could relate. Maybe changing 'entrapped' to 'trapped' would make it sound more immediate ... ?

Perhaps you could put a bit more into the brief description. Also, you've left the genres at 'other' - I suggest you pick up to three genres, to give the poem more exposure on site.

I found no technical errors.

Happy WDC Anniversary!
Write On!
- Sonali

"TRICK OR TREAT - Fourteen Reviews"  Open in new Window.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4675571