That was totally unfair! You had me worried about them. I thought for sure they'd been bitten. Scaring those poor dogs over nothing! It was rude.

I loved the way you made her day total crap, the car crap, and the job unappreciated crap. You were so firmly grounded in it being a bad day I fell hook line and sinker for it having been a snake bite. I did wonder about the children, where are they? Are they still at the sitter's. Shouldn't they have stopped by to pick them up before taking the dogs for a long hike. Or are the dogs the children if they are then you should call them furbabies or otherwise make that clear. If we are talking human children, they seem like an afterthought. Like the character cares more about the animals in which case Why should I care if they are snakebit?

The mechanics of this story seem to be okay. I didn't notice any glaring typos or spelling mistakes. Sorry can't help with the grammar, I wouldn't notice most of those mistakes if they were a rattlesnake and bit me, or a rose.

FORUM

Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland]  (E) Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple.. #2267246 by GERVIC