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Review #4656972
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Ode to a Snowflake Open in new Window. [E]
My thoughts on snow...
by Jackson Downs Author Icon
Review by Dave Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Greetings, Jackson!

Welcome to our international community dedicated to writing inspiration and support. I found this little gem in a recent Noticing Newbies Newsletter and wanted to offer a few comments in the spirit of friendly hospitality and constructive helpfulness.

Please remember that these observations are merely one man's opinion, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth.

TITLE:

The title is a critical element of your composition, because it is the portal through which a prospective reader must pass to enter the realm of your imagination. If that entrance does not spark some sort of interest, chances are he or she will move along to the next item, or maybe even the next author.

The label on this composition invites that browser to enjoy a moment with one of Mother Nature's majestic wonders.

FORM & STRUCTURE:

In traditional poetry, the fixed shape of the meter, rhyme, and stanza creates an emotional distance which facilitates universal acceptance. The poet writing free verse must compensate for the lack of traditional structure by designing the title, line, stanza, and rhythm to provide the greatest impact in an efficient manner. Otherwise, the poem will be nothing more than prose in disguise. Careful design of the word selection and arrangement, the length and density of each line, and the breakdown of stanzas must provide a natural rhythm. That is, through much toil in search of precise language, experimentation with forming lines and stanzas, and extensive revision, the poet carefully crafts a work that appears natural, authentic, and convincing to the reader.

Dividing the single body of text into several stanzas might help to control the pace and sharpen the focus on individual impressions.

POETIC TECHNIQUE:

If done well, rhyming can be pleasing to the ear and fun to create, testing the wit and ingenuity of the poet. It can also serve as an audible echo or resonance for emphasis. Additionally, rhyming can be an organizing device to create zones of similarity for your poems and linkage to connect different thoughts.

The rhyming in this poem is well executed without distortion of the language, and the lack of a consistent pattern prevents the development of a tedious cadence.

In one form or another, repetition is used in poetry for a variety of purposes. The familiarity created by this technique can create a common thread woven through the piece to strengthen the cohesiveness of the composition. It can also be used as a resonant echo for emphasis to produce greater impact. By skillfully playing the familiar against the unexpected, the poet composes a lyrical quality that is used to support the theme of the poem.

In this case, the repetition of "day" in the last line does not seem to serve any specific purpose. I would suggest replacing the phrase "make another winter day" with something like "paint another winter masterpiece."

NARRATIVE:

The tentative tone of "almost like" in the tenth line tends to weaken your audience's connection with this experience. As the author, your Creative License gives you the power to state definitively "For Him, it is a way of life."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

Art happens in two places: in writers' minds as they create it, and in readers' minds as they perceive it. Creative writers explore possibilities through a lens colored by past experience and share them with an unseen audience. They call upon a unique reservoir of such enlightenment, conceptual skill and innovative research to evoke some spiritual reaction from your audience--be it joy, melancholy, shock, or any of a thousand others.

You have achieved the most important step in this process by capturing your thoughts on paper before they can fly away like fireflies in the night. In that effort, you have excavated a golden nugget from the depths of your imagination. Keep polishing this nugget to maximize the effects and transform it into the magnificent jewel it can be. Write on!

If you are interested in learning more about the craft of composing poetry, or merely chatting with a few like-minded wordsmiths, we would love to have you join our discussions in "The Poet's Place " Open in new Window. group.

Here's wishing you fair winds as you continue to navigate this universe known as Writing.Com.

Let the creativity flow from your soul! *Cool*
Dave
"The Poet's Place " Open in new Window.
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