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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4615921
Review #4615921
Viewing a review of:
Tired  [ASR]
I Just do poetry and short stories.
by Daimoness1996
Review of Tired  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Welcome to Writing Dot com
from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" 
Greetings from "The WDC Angel Army" 


This showed up on Random Reads.
It's a powerful poem that packs a punch. The verse structure and language match the feelings you want to evoke. You are right that people use 'love' and 'helping' to meet their own agenda. I appreciate your interpretation of pain. The wishes you express are extremely relatable.

Suggestions:
1. It helps if you pick 'genres', your poem shows up on searches.
2. I think there are two or even three voices in the poem. Maybe some Writing ML like italics, or paragraph indent, to distinguish the voices. You could even use color for this if you like.

Thank you for sharing this powerful message!
Write On! Wish On!

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