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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4568567
Review #4568567
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Cubby Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*


Greetings, ozhan! I am reviewing this because I discovered it on the Auto-rewards page. When you asked for reviews for the 10 year old child who wrote this story, how could I resist? *Smile* So this review is for her...


*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.


What I Liked

         *Bullet* I loved the names you chose: Ms. Snotty & Mr. Rude and Ms. Gold and Mr. Silver. Great choices, especially for people who aren't so nice. *Wink*
         *Bullet* I liked how you placed the two main characters (Conney & Ojan) in two very different parts of the world.
         *Bullet* Since neither Connie or Ojan were happy with the two not-so-nice people they lived with, they both ran away.
         *Bullet* And what a great ending! They ran into each other and became the best of friends for the rest of their lives! I love happy endings!


Suggestions to Consider

         *Bullet* Paragraph 1: far often land --> far off land


Final Thoughts

         What a great story coming from a 10 year old! I have a book that used to be blank that my grandmother gave me when I was 10. It's filled with short stories and illustrations and I still have it and that was 54 years ago! I hope you keep on writing, too! I wish you the best of luck! *Hug*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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