Hi Warped Sanity ! I'm back again with another review in celebration of your Anniversary month! Congratulations!

Oh my god! Blech! You have a fantastic style! I'm actually feeling a little sick over here ... That was very very good! (and bad .. but in a good way ) I knew what was about to happen with this line: "Sources say the virus is airborne. May God help us!" but you wrote it perfectly. I did question why Paul was so quick to cut open Lauren's belly. I understand why he did, but maybe you could give him just a little extra conflict about it. How it reads right now is that he isn't terribly grossed out by it, which I believe he would be.

There are only a couple places I noticed that you could make edits. First, you mostly use "towards" rather than "toward" in this story, but there is one instance of "toward." I tend to prefer "toward" without an s, but I've realized others prefer it with an s. But either way, I think if you use it one way, it shouldn't be flip-flopped. In other words, stay consistent throughout. Below, I copied a couple of your sentences in red and offer my suggestions after:

Lauran demanded,"we need to go now! You change her name to Lauren (with an e) for the rest of the story. Also, there should be a space after "demanded,"

Paul, who laid in bed, I think laid should be lay because Paul is a human and not a thing. Might have to research this though.

Thank you for sharing this gruesome tale! And again, happy anniversary!

Take care,
Emily

You responded to this review 10/16/2018 @ 7:16pm EDT

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