Hello, Cadie here reviewing on behalf of "Game of Thrones" . I hope you are enjoying your time here on Writing.com (WDC).

Overall Impressions~
You've written a great poem describing a family member searching for their grandfather. Let's say the grandson, has found the grandfather in a park, supposedly watching his grandson as a child play in the sand. It's a familiar place to both the grandfather and the grandson. While looking for the grandfather the grandson remembers things they've been through with the grandfather and how it has impacted his life.

Recommendations~
I would recommend one change, while minor. "I'm watching my grandson. He'll miss dinner for another minute in his wonderland." It seems the grandfather is the one speaking. For some reason, this doesn't quite fit. The fact that the grandson is being watched by the grandfather, makes sense. "He'll miss dinner for another minute in his wonderland." This sentence is what doesn't quite fit for me. You could look at rewording it, then again because it received 1st place you may just forget everything I've said. That's okay too.

Thank you for sharing, Keep writing.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .