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Review #4244912
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Review by NaNoKit Author IconMail Icon
Rated: | (5.0)
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Hi CJ Reddick Author Icon,

This review is a part of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a fun poem, dear author, and I am sure that many readers will be able to relate to it!

Why are so many tasty foodstuffs bad for one's waistline? It's not fair, is it? I like cake, and chocolate, and ice cream. But, if I give in to that enjoyment too often, I'll find myself struggling to fit into my clothes.

This poem expresses that problem very well. The temptation of the treats versus the determination to lose weight. A determination that can always be postponed. Indefinitely, perhaps...

You use very suitable imagery, that helped make the poem fun. And the rhythm and flow are very pleasant and easy to find. I like your use of punctuation as well - this helps guide the reader and assists the overall clarity. Good job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions about the poem's content. I like it just the way it is. The only thing I'd suggest is allowing the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. This would perfect the overall clarity and reading experience.

My Rating:

An entertaining poem. I enjoyed the read.

I did have one suggestion, but that's more of a personal preference. So, I will still give this item a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


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