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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4244107
Review #4244107
Viewing a review of:
 Mexican Standoff Open in new Window. [ASR]
Newbies Academy Challenge; 500 words from the POV of two characters/Twisted Tales Contest
by Santa Author Icon
Review of Mexican Standoff  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon

PLOT -
Paca and Alejandro are chained across from one another, their plight still unknown. Each has feelings for the other and now here they are, bound.

SETTING -
You did great painting the scene of them both bound and separate, not being able to reach one another. The outside crowd made so much noise it was impossible for Alejandro to talk to her, calm her, make things better for the woman he loves.

CHARACTERS -
Paca, a strong willed woman has set her sights on Alejandro from the moment she saw him. Alejandro fights to win Paca's heart, and now here they are bound, crowds gathering, farming tools strewn about.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors. Good inner dialog as they both thought about their past and what was going on around them in this moment.

THOUGHTS -
What a twist. I mean I knew there would be one, but it never occurred to me that it would turn out to be what it was. Great job with this short story, setting the scene, glimpses of your main characters, things happening around them and then BAM! I was laughing so hard, thinking about marriage and all that it entails and I'd have to say, that yes it can be like this taking that enormous step. Great job. Write on!
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