Song for Cory [ASR] And the long lonely cowboy / snuffs out the candles, / prays only to stars |
Rhythm/Rhyme: The first three stanza had good rhythm and rhyme. The last one is missing that same flow the others had. It is hard sometimes to find the right words. I think what throws it off is the very last line. Summary: A lonely cowboy who only has sheep for companions. He lights candles and watches the stars at night, praying they watch over him as he sleeps. He wants someone to care, but only the animals are near him. Critique: It's a sad poem about loneliness. It would be difficult to be far away from towns and other people, having only your own thoughts and sheep to keep you company. It's not surprising he feels he's going crazy. Spending all that time alone does things to your mind. You had good imagery of that as he looked up to the stars, the presence of the coyote's and the sheep who gather around and watch him. The poem leaves questions though. Why is he out there all alone? I also wondered how old he was and what his background could be that has him so cut off from people and towns. I see having questions and wondering about the lonely cowboy as a good thing because it makes the poem really stick with your audience. Good job. Write on! Review brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" by Creeper Of The Realm
|