\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4231289
Review #4231289
Viewing a review of:
 The Curious Matter, Pt. 1 Open in new Window. [E]
A young clocksmith decides to answer a call for help.
by BD Mitchell Author Icon
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*NoteV* Story ~
Charlie lives with Ben, who fixes clocks for a living. Ben comes home and begins to tell him a tale of the richest man in London being locked in his house and in need of rescuing. Ben relays the tale as he collects his tools and asks Charlie to take notes because he thinks it will be a good story.
{c}
*NoteG* Characters ~
Ben and Charlie have a nice, steady, and humorous rapport. Charlie does tend to be annoyed with all of the tools and clock parts that clutter the apartment. They are funny pair, excited about things as they speak with each other. Charlie tends to interrupt Ben when he tells a story, and Charlie's inner dialog was perfect, adding to the dynamics of the story.

*NoteV* Issues ~
But leaving aside the all the grand adventures and capital the air fleet represented
~~This was the only issue I found. The only thing I would mention would be the over use of exclamation points. Other than that, the story had great flow and descriptions.

*green**NoteG* Impressions ~
I enjoyed this story. You had enough going on that pulled me in as a reader and makes me want to read the next chapter. The time period worked well. The dialog took me back to that place and time. I loved the humor you incorporated into the story. You described Ben very well, I could picture him frenzied going through what he would need to go rescue the family trapped inside their house. A little suspense going on as well. Write on!
{c}
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/04/2016 @ 5:25pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4231289