Greetings, quigley! I really enjoyed reading this piece! I loved the humor you incorporated it, too. The dialogue was excellent. Not once did I zone out while reading it, which sometimes happens when I'm reading longer paragraphs and little action. There are so many things about this I like. Great job! "Hwhat would it require to frighten a horror writer?" Howie said, adding his usual "H" to every "W" word. I absolutely loved that you added this little quirk to the piece. Gives it character, for sure! I have one suggestion below. Paragraph 31 "No smokers here," Branson shrugged. This is just technical, hardly worth mentioning, lol. You might want to consider changing the comma to a period, or adding a dialogue tag since shrugged is body language, not a dialogue tag. Branson shrugged. "No smokers here." This made me laugh: "So I'm a closet puppeteer! Whatever!" Marie grabbed the candle, lit it, and gasped. You are a very gifted writer. Your flow, your dialogue, the ease of everything you've written here works. I love, love, love it! (I could almost picture a Scooby-doo scenario here, lol. Please don't take offense to that. I've watched quite a few Scooby-doo movies with my grandkids lately, so... that explains it!) Have a great day and' K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ") My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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