A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " ! I saw your story, "Invalid Item" on the Shameless Plug Page and took a look. I hope you find my comments helpful. Characters: It usually takes some physical description for a reader to 'see' the characters in a story. There is no physical description here, but in this story it doesn't matter. What matters for the characters here is the subtle way you show their emotions. It easy to see Michael's longing, and just as easy to see Sara's skepticism. Well done. It's not easy to show a character's emotions, but you handled it well here. Dialogue: The dialogue used in this story moves the story forward, and it provides information for the reader, and it does it well. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: I saw no errors that detract from the story. Comments: This held my interest from start to finish. I like the way you opened the story with a single person at the beach waiting for the sunrise. For some reason, reading that a person is there alone suggests loneliness, longing, or lost love. As the story progresses I was able to see that it was Sara who had broken up with Michael, but I would have liked to know just a little bit about why. I don't know that it's important to the story, after all, the story is about the mystery of people having some kind of connection, but knowing just a bit more about the reason for the breakup would make it better, at least for me. My wife and I have been together since high school. After 46 years of marriage I often find myself thinking/saying exactly what my wife says or thinks. That it happens so often is uncanny. Having had the experience that you write about here is totally believable for me. Great story, great writing, if you do turn this into something longer please let me know so I can read it. Hopefully Michael is able to get Sara back, judging from his emotions he loves Sara very much. Good job! Keep writing! ~~Thank you for sharing your story.~~ My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed." My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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