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Initial hook: Getting ' thumbtacks, horseshoes, saltines' in one story? I'm intrigued already. "I knew it was going to be a bad day. " I thought this was a good first line. It sets the reader up with anticipation, knowing something out of the ordinary, and bad, is going to happen to the protagonist. Characters: We get a humourous look at this cat-harangued man. Plot: I have to admit, I didn't know what saltines were, but a quick google search told me, so this all makes sense. "“Sir Trevor, can’t you leave anything alone, you are seriously going to ruin my chances at the horseshoes game!’ " I thought you made this nice and circular at the end, closing the open loops with the mischievous cat and the importance of limping. Atmosphere/tone: 'I fumbled around for my slippers but couldn’t find them, so I raced for the kitchen barefoot' I thought you made good use of these action verbs. You are keeping the sentences short, but they pack the descriptive punch. Parts I liked: "This had to be the work of my feline companion, Sir Trevor, who was nowhere to be seen. " I thought this was a great way of getting 'thumbtacks' into the story, as well as some feline cheekiness. Parts I thought needed more work/questions: I didn't have any issues with this. Overall impression and reason for rating: I thought you dealt with the words really well, as well as making a cute, fun story in very few words! Well done and thanks for all your help with the Power Reviewers! I hope this has been helpful. Please remember it is just my opinion and you know your work best. To protect my work, only those who are registered authors and above may view my portfolio. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is a Power Review from
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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