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Review #4047507
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of River's Bad Day  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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*Reading* Initial hook:

Getting ' thumbtacks, horseshoes, saltines' in one story? I'm intrigued already.

"I knew it was going to be a bad day. " I thought this was a good first line. It sets the reader up with anticipation, knowing something out of the ordinary, and bad, is going to happen to the protagonist.


*People* Characters:

We get a humourous look at this cat-harangued man.


*Home* Plot:

I have to admit, I didn't know what saltines were, but a quick google search told me, so this all makes sense.

"“Sir Trevor, can’t you leave anything alone, you are seriously going to ruin my chances at the horseshoes game!’ "


I thought you made this nice and circular at the end, closing the open loops with the mischievous cat and the importance of limping.


*Ghost* Atmosphere/tone:

'I fumbled around for my slippers but couldn’t find them, so I raced for the kitchen barefoot' I thought you made good use of these action verbs. You are keeping the sentences short, but they pack the descriptive punch.



*Inlove* Parts I liked:

"This had to be the work of my feline companion, Sir Trevor, who was nowhere to be seen. " I thought this was a great way of getting 'thumbtacks' into the story, as well as some feline cheekiness.



*Confused* Parts I thought needed more work/questions:

I didn't have any issues with this.



*Magnify* Overall impression and reason for rating:

I thought you dealt with the words really well, as well as making a cute, fun story in very few words! Well done and thanks for all your help with the Power Reviewers!


*BurstG**TulipR**BurstG* I hope this has been helpful. Please remember it is just my opinion and you know your work best.*BurstG**TulipR**BurstG*



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