Hi,

Was looking for a random horrotica piece to review and was drawn in by the description of this piece.

You have interesting story, but I feel the start was a little hard to follow. You have a tendency of using words that aren't needed which pollute the definition of the sentence.

eg.
She had twisted her hand after landing in a wrong posture on the floor but she also didn’t want to back off from their third date.
The "also" is a little off-putting, there is nothing that it connects with, so just makes the sentence slightly less flowing than it should be.

and
When was it when you went to the coast?
This seems a very odd piece of dialog, why not just say: "When did you go to the coast?"

You could also do with a few more commas to help direct the reader a bit within the sentences.

The end feels a little rushed, I feel you could do with more description of the crash, like what swing are you talking about and where did it come from. There are also a few places where you seem to have missed words like:
Veronica looked in Ty’s who was above her,

I feel with a thorough edit the story would show through a lot more. Considering the length you did a good job of giving depth to Veronica, making her an interesting character, Ty less so but with such a low word count that is understandable.

Hope my comments are helpful, feel free to ignore them.

I find it hard to find good horrotica (all my attempts turn out pretty awful), so I hope you keep writing in the genre.

MS