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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3938002
Review #3938002
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Promises  
Review by Elle - on hiatus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A dragon reading a book by candle light


Hello Robin,
I'm here to give you some feedback as a judge of the CLASH tournament. *Smile*

went through a formal weapons training (favors a knives, regularly carries three, one in boot, one at her left hip and one concealed either in her hair our between her solder blades),
There's a few typos and spelling errors in there. Not a biggie in the character reference, but I figured I'd point them out.

At the age of twenty, Druida was destroyed by the leaders of the Anthera Corporation.
That certainly provides great motivation for her to compete.

leaving a tall of broken or smitten hearts behind her
Here too. As I say, we don't usually judge for writing skills or spelling, etc in the character reference, but if you want to keep it in your portfolio and polish it up a little, it's worth having them pointed out.

Her red lacquered nails tapped Domumen's number into her tranceiver.
She knows Domumen personally? Ooh, interesting development!

She flipped the communication of before he could respond.
Another small typo there.

This was a lot shorter than I expected. I still have a lot of questions about your character. I want to see how she reacts in a dangerous situation, when she has to think quickly to survive. I am also unsure whether she has all the skills necessary to compete in this tournament. I'm sure she does, but you haven't shown us them yet. She certainly has the motivation - now prove to us that she has the skills. I look forward to it.

My leader sig for the Roots & Wings group
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