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 Review #3642275 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (5.0)| "Invalid Item" by Julie D - PUBLISHED!  For the premise of this group's activity, please see: "Invalid Item" ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** NOTE: Please remember that the following comments and observations are only one person's opinion. Take what you can use but never be shy about discarding what you cannot. Most important of all, keep writing, improving, and contributing to our wonderful community! Greetings Mandy !I am reviewing your poem, "Invalid Item" . WHY I CHOSE TO REVIEW THIS ITEM: The poetry gods are smiling upon us this month because my review buddy is one of my favorite poets...who also happens to be one of my favorite people! There are so many wonderful pieces in your portfolio. I had a difficult time choosing just one to review. I came across this recently written, award winning little gem. I am so happy that I did!  OVERALL SENSE: An enchanting poem written by a talented, hopeless romantic (like me ). It is truly deserving of its first place win in "Invalid Item" ! Sometimes the perfect romantic token is a matter of finding the perfect thing to say, and the perfect way to say it. You have done just that with this tender, yet passionate, piece of amazing poetry. CONVENTIONS: As with other poetic techniques, poets use specific forms and conventions to suit their own purposes. Your use of Traditional (rhyming) poetry gives this a rhythmic, almost lyrical, feel when the poem is read aloud. I enjoyed your abcb rhyme scheme throughout this item. Sometimes it is difficult to write rhymes that don't feel as if they have been forced. You did a wonderful job of ensuring the rhymes feel natural, effortless. I found nothing that gave me pause while reading it. Your end-rhymes perfectly match. Your meter is just as I have come to expect from you - outstanding!  SPELLING/GRAMMAR: Why do I have this here? Oh right, I use it when I'm doing reviews for others.  It's not needed when I review your pieces. Your spelling and grammar are excellent, my friend! FAVORITE LINES: "So graceful as she sways; I watch, For me she casts a light. My breath is harsh, alive at last, Let dawn chastise the night." This is a fantastic start to your poem. You grab the reader's attention, and manage to keep them enraptured with each dreamy word.  SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: I have one suggestion and this is merely a personal preference. The rules of poetry have changed a bit. Years ago, every line had to begin with a capital letter. That is no longer a requirement in poetry. My suggestion would be to consider using lower-case to begin your lines, unless the previous line ended with a period. What you have is not wrong at all, this is absolutely at the poet's discretion. For me, personally, I feel that it makes for an easier read so I thought I would mention it. I hope you don't mind. I mean no offense by the suggestion above. As a writer and reviewer yourself, you know that any suggestions are given with the best intentions.  CONCLUSION: Mandy, your talent amazes me. I adore each and every piece, and always feel that there is no way I could possibly like something more...until I read another item you have written. You, my dear friend, should definitely consider having your work published.I wish you a very Happy New Year, filled with health, happiness and love. Here's to a very prosperous 2012! Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!   Happy NewYear!   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .Regards, Julie D - PUBLISHED! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  I wrote my letter from home to support our troops, "Invalid Item" . Have you written your "Letter from Home" ? Follow the random at "Invalid Item" , which won 1st Place in Round 1 of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" ! Find out what makes me tick in "Invalid Item" . Check out some of my gems in "Invalid Item" !
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You responded to this review 01/01/2012 @ 6:11am EST