This guy is so hot. You can't stand it any more. You work up all the courage you can and say, "So, I guess now that we know each other, we should try to get acquainted a bit more. Would you like to spend the night here? My dad has plenty of food saved up, and we could do pretty much anything - I mean if you want to..."
Ted interrupts you. "Hey man, I know what you're thinking and...SURE! What the hell, you seem cool and all."
At this point you're ecstatic. This can't be happening!
* * *
Later that night, Ted convinces you that he REALLY doesn't mind the whole weight thing, and talks you into taking your shirt off in spite of yourself. Everything seems to be going great, Ted even talked about Brad a little bit more.
'Yes!' you think happily to yourself. 'This is like a dream come true, I can't believe it's happening!'
Right after you have this thought you have an urge to go to the restroom. You excuse yourself and come back a few minutes later, to find the worst possible thing has happened. It seems Ted found one of your gay pornography magazines in its hiding place under your new bed. Ted has this astonished look on his face as he says,
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