"Let me know your choice now boy, so that we can know what diet to put you on,” Mr. Pots finishes by saying. “Your diet will start immediately at your next meal today."
As you stand there, trying to decide what to do, one of boys seated on the left pushes back his chair, and heads towards where you’re standing in front of Mr. Pots at the serving table.
As the boy walks towards you, you realise that he is truly, awesomely FAT. No way he could weigh only 300 pounds! You don’t know, but you guess that he’s closer to 500 pounds than to 300 - his huge white shirt is stretched tight across a belly that sags forward over his beltline. His broad, fat face seems to vault directly out of his huge, fat shoulders, thanks to the double chin that obscures his neck. As he gets closer you see he’s wearing a name tag that reads: Prefect. As he gets close to the serving table, the boy says, “Nice salad Potsie, now what’s for dinner?”
“Nothing more for you until you lose that sagging pot!” says Mr. Pots, rubbing his own massive gut with apparent pleasure. “Good food’s reserved for skinnies and newbies like the guy beside you!”
The huge boy turns to you. “Will you help me out? Potsie’s starving me. I’ll just waste away if I don’t get some of that pot roast?”
Now, you’re really confused. How did this guy grow from the “obese” line of 300 pounds to his current size? Why is Pots, who’s at least twice the size of your dad, denying him food? What’s going on? You hate diets, and you have a visual flash of a miserable year from hell ahead of you in deepest, darkest Oklahoma. Maybe your parents won’t even let you come home at Christmas...
As you’re standing there, feeling incredibly down, the two tables of boys jump up and scream,
“SURPRISE!!”
Mr. Pots beams. “Cheer up boy, it’s all a joke! There’s no diets here - this is OBESITY School for Boys, after all.” He goes on, “Which is not to say that you don’t have to eat your veggies, in whatever form you choose - smothered in cheese sauce, say - but you get to eat as much of everything else as you want.” Seeing your shocked face, he continues more quietly. “The boys just helped me set up this little joke for you, that’s all. No way Mr. Rocco here ever made it to his current size on any diet. What size are you these days, Rocco?”
The boy with the Prefect’s badge, whose dazzling smile lights up his olive complexion, reaches out to grab your hand. “Welcome to OSB, newby! You’re going to have fun here.” He turns towards the cook. “For your information, Pots, I’m up to
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