Chapter #4Kiss Your Elbow by: BeeJay   The strangest thing in my life happened at the amusement park.
My whole family and I usually went every year, shortly after my birthday (in this case, my thirteenth). We all went to have a lot of fun.
This year, they added a new attraction: a fake rock wall. I just couldn't resist trying it out, even though I had never tried anything like it before. Mom and Dad tried talking me out of it, but I wouldn't listen. I just hooked the rope onto the harness, and I started climbing.
I was maybe two or three handholds from the top when I realized that maybe my folks had a point. My head started spinning, and I felt dizzy. Somehow, my arm got tied up in the rope, and I started falling.
Thanks to the rope and harness, I didn't fall to my death or injury. But because of how I got tied up, I got spun around so much, I wound up smacking my elbow into my lips.
"Brad!" Mom said. "Are you alright?"
"I think so," I replied.
"I can't believe you managed to kiss your own elbow," my older sister, Lauren, said. "I'll bet you couldn't do that again, if you tried a million times."
"A billion," Dad added. "I've never heard of anything like that happening anywhere."
"You kissed your elbow," said my little sister, Lissie. "That means you're going to turn into a girl."
"Huh?"
"Everybody knows that," she said. "If you kiss your elbow, a boy turns into a girl, or a girl turns into a boy."
"Oh, that old story," I replied. "Well, you can rest easy. I have no intention of turning into a girl."
Once everyone was satisfied that I didn't need a doctor, they let me out of the harness, and we enjoyed the rest of the park.
******************************
That night, I had a weird dream.
I was in school, and the teacher called me up to do a problem up on the blackboard. I walked to the blackboard, picked up a piece of chalk, and started writing.
As soon as I did, someone started laughing.
I tried to ignore it; but soon, someone else started laughing. And then someone else. Before I knew it, the whole classroom had a bad case of the giggles.
I turned to the teacher. "What's so funny?"
He cleared his throat. "Well, for one thing," he said, "that's hardly an appropriate outfit for school."
"Huh?"
I looked down, and I couldn't believe my eyes.
I was wearing a party dress.
*****************************
When I woke up, I could feel two things: Something didn't feel quite right, and I had to go to the bathroom.
My eyes still half closed, I got up and walked to the bathroom. The feeling that something was wrong wouldn't quit; but I couldn't think of what it might be.
Walking into the bathroom, I switched on the light and closed the door. I walked over to the toilet, and I lifted the seat. Then, I reached into the fly of my pajama bottoms to take out my dingus.
It wasn't there.
I groped frantically, trying to find what I'd been born with. The twig was gone; the berries were gone.
In their place was something I'd only seen in school Health class books, as artist's renderings: Girl parts.
Under the circumstances, I'd say I was completely justified in screaming my head off.  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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