Just then, during Merry and Erik’s trek through the cave, the duo saw the shape of a man who cloaked themselves in a robe that covered his shoulders and arms, leaving his lower body exposed. They wore tight black leggings and tall black boots to match. Their hair was short and dark, almost blending into the blackness of the cave. Most striking however, was the man's head, his mouth and nose covered by a vibrant green-colored sash.
Erik, Merry, and the stranger stood still, as the silence was only occasionally broken up by the subtle crackling of the torch in Erik's hand.
With a deep breath, Erik addressed the stranger directly. "Are you the one that captured us?"
No response.
Merry chimed in. "Wait... that color..."
Her eyes seemed fixed on the stranger's sash.
"...We can do this amicably, or we can do this violently," the stranger spoke in what seemed like a put-on baritone. "You will return to your cell now and--"
"Not a chance!" Merry replied. "We busted that cell door wide open! You couldn't keep us in there even if you wanted to!"
Princess...
Erik remained silent. He and the princess were left armed with nothing but a torch, in the middle of a dark cave. With the whereabouts of his supplies and trusty weapon still unaccounted for, he had to err on the side of caution. It was very possible - in fact, very likely - that the cloaked figure was hiding a dagger somewhere on them, if they didn't already have it in hand ready to strike with at any moment.
"Even so," the stranger continued, "for your sake, it is best that you do as I say and not leave this cave."
"And not return home to my castle? You must be crazy if you think I'm going to let go of this opportunity!"
Swiftly, Merry then snatched the torch right out of Erik's hand and stepped in front of him.
"Hey, what are you--?!"
Before he could get his thought out, the princess proceeded to spin her back towards the robed figure and position the head of the torch right in front of her backside.
Oh no, not again...!
On instinct, Erik covered his face with both of his hands, just as Merry let out yet another large fart.
BRRRRRRRrrrrraaaaapppppppppppppppphhhhtt...!!
FWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHH!!
Merry's flatulence ignited the lit torch and created a wall of flame between her and the stranger, who stepped back to avoid getting burned.
Just then, Erik saw an opportunity. He grabbed Merry's hand and made a run for it, dashing just past the robed stranger.
Staggered, the stranger regained his balance before giving chase to the duo. Merry, torch still in hand, proceeded to taunt their pursuer. "I wouldn't come too close if I were you!"
Upon realizing what she meant, the stranger slowed his pursuit before eventually stopping in his tracks, letting the adventurer and the princess run further and further away from him, and closer and closer to the cave's exit.
The tunnels of the cave echoed with the heavy footsteps of Erik and Merry, both occasionally panting as they continued their dash. Erik was leading the way, trying to find any source of sunlight to help guide him out. He yelled back to the princess, "Is he still after us?!"
In between breaths, Merry answered, "No... No, I don't think so. I think I scared him off!"
“For a princess…” Erik said in-between heavy breaths, “you sure are… reckless…!”
Erik slowed slightly, nearly coughing.
Merry paused for a moment. “Erik? What’s wrong?’
“I-I’m OK…” He assured her, still trying to keep his pace. “We just need to get out of this cave…”
Erik didn’t want to say it, but the burning scent of Merry’s makeshift flamethrower seemed to seep its way through to him. Perhaps it was the intensity of Merry’s stench or the fact that the smell was starting to fill the cave more and more. Regardless, Erik couldn’t afford to just succumb to the odorous fumes, and had to find a way out to ensure both his and Merry’s safety.
After a few more seconds of running, a crack of sunlight broke through the shadows of the cave. “There it is,” Merry cheered, “that’s the exit!”
Merry let go of both the torch she was previously holding and Erik’s hand, quickening her pace just enough to run alongside Erik. He, in turn, took one last deep breath as he kept up with her.
As the bright warmth of the sun came closer and closer, a flash of white flooded both of their visions as they bolted out of the cave in unison. Unable to see for the briefest of moments, the two accidentally collided and stumbled upon themselves.
“Aaahh--!”
“Waaaaahh--!”
FLUMP!
Having fallen onto the soft grass beneath them, the pair found themselves facing each other.
“Are you alright?” Erik asked.
“Yeah yeah, I’m fine,” Merry replied. “I just, uh…” She then placed a hand on her stomach.
“Oh, uh…” Erik paused awkwardly. “Do you need to fart again?”
Merry nodded. “I do, but it’s clear the smell is starting to really get to you.”
Erik sat himself up from his side, putting his hands up. “N-No no, it’s fine! I’ll be alright. It was just the cave. It, er, just got stuffy in there because of how cramped it was, that’s all.”
Merry gave Erik a slightly doubtful look, before relaxing her brow. “...True. We are out in an open space. Then…” She sat herself up as well. “One second.”
…bbrrrrraaapphhtt…
“Haaahhhh…” Merry let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, I’m good.”
Erik stifled a chuckle. “That… wasn’t what I was expecting,” he admitted.
Merry scoffed. “Come now, I already exhausted a lot of my gas while in that cave. I’m not that flatulent, you know.”
“I beg to differ,” Erik replied. “How… how can you do that, anyway?”
“You mean regarding my farts?”
“Yes, regarding your farts,” Erik answered.
Merry paused, then proceeded to stand up as she turned her attention back to the cave she and Erik had just escaped from. “I can tell you later,” she told him. “For now, we should get out of here - whoever that was, he could be coming after us.”
“Right,” Erik agreed as he stood up himself. “But… where should we go?”
“For now, let’s just look for a road, and once we do, see if that road leads to a nearby village or town. The people there will help us once we arrive.”
“Of course, you being the princess and all,” Erik added.
Merry smiled. “Of course, you’ll get help too.”
“Right.”
The two turned away from the cave and then headed in the opposite direction, Erik once again taking the lead on Merry’s request.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
About half an hour had passed, and the two were still continuing their stroll. To help pass the time, Erik explained his situation regarding how he came across the border into Esteri only to be attacked by bandits. Just as Erik finished recounting those events, the two found a dirt road.
“Ah, here we go,” Erik said. “Good progress.”
“I agree,” Merry added. “So… you were attacked by bandits, you said?”
Erik nodded. “It’s… embarrassing to admit this, but they knocked me out by farting in my direction…”
Merry stifled a laugh. “A very rude welcome to Esteri indeed.”
“Is that… common around here?”
Merry nodded, knowing what Erik meant. “Somewhat, anyway. You didn’t know that before coming into our kingdom?”
“...Should I have?”
“Pffft, that’s not what I’m saying,” Merry clarified. “I’m just surprised, is all. I grew up here, after all - the fact that we fart as much as we do is considered common knowledge. But perhaps that doesn’t cross over to our neighboring kingdoms.”
“So wait, do all Esterians fart like that?” Erik asked.
Merry shook her head. “Not at all - maybe every one in four? And even then, not every gassy Esterian can compare to me!” She then proudly placed a hand firmly on her butt.
Erik let out an awkward chuckle. “You, uh… are not at all like I expected you to be.”
“Because I’m a princess, right?” Merry asked.
Erik could sense a bit of annoyance in Merry’s tone. “Er, s-sort of. More so because… well, I haven’t met anybody who would be so proud of how flatulent they are.”
There was a brief pause before Merry smiled again. “...That’s understandable.”
Another pause. The two walked alongside each other in silence for a few seconds.
“...I don’t think I’ve ever talked about farts this much in my life,” Erik joked.
Merry let out a laugh. “Pffhahaha! It’s one of my favorite topics of discussion, believe it or not!”
“Oh, I believe it..” Erik said with a sigh.
Of all my adventures, he thought to himself, this might just be the strangest one I’ve had yet.
…bbbrrraaaaappphhhttt…
It was quiet, but the sound of a fart could be heard nearby. Erik turned to Merry.
“What?” she asked. “That one wasn’t me.”
…brraaapppphhhttt…
Another fart off in the distance. The two turned their gazes in the direction they heard it coming from. It seemed to be coming from the other side of the hill alongside the dirt road they had been walking on.
“...Should we investigate?” Erik asked.
“I think so,” she answered. “I’d rather know than not.”
With that, the two slowly stepped their way up onto the top of the hill. Down at the base of the hill, the two saw--
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
More by this author
