Poké Snatcher

All manner of footwear, tiretreads, make their marks upon the urban terrain. A pink sneaker with its laces dangerously undone, bright blue soccer cleats, lime green crocs, sandals hugging around youthful feet, pudgy Pokemon paws. You eventually turn your attention upwards, to see a pair of women in their twenties casually chatting to one another as they walk. One of them is holding a kebab with cooked peppers and onions and... oh no. No no no. You feel a cold chill pass down your spine as you realize that the meat portion of the kebab is comprised of three still-living human beings. You retract your prior theory. Providence, be it from Arceus or otherwise, is not in play here. A scream sounds out as the woman plucks her morsel of a man loose and his body disappears beyond her lips.

You scarcely have any time to eulogize the poor nameless man before you catch a glimpse of another atrocity. A lithe, twinkish young man, perhaps in his twenties brandishes what initially appears to be a piece of candy and sets it upon the muzzle of a male Furfrou. You are distracted, momentarily, by the impressively large girth of the Furfrou... but you quickly turn your attention back up to the Furfrou's muzzle. The 'candy' piece turns out to be not a chunk of candy but another human being, this one a female practically mummified in peanut butter. The young male rests a finger over the over the bosom of the tiny woman. "Hold on boy. Whose a good boy? Whooooose a good boy? Who is patient, and clever, and sweet enough to earn a treat? THat's right. It's you. Now...get em!" he punctuates that last line with a loud whistle. The Furfrou swiftly flings his treat into the air before snapping his jaws shut. His teeth sink around her ankle. A scream is heard for but a moment before he slurps her in like a string of spaghetti and quickly supresses any sense of rebellion she may have with some closed-maw crunches.

You shudder in terror as the spectacle unfolds itself, and quickly duck your head beneath the leaf, not wanting to see any more. As you cower beneath this natural cover, you hear the sound of footfalls heading your way...but it is not the footfalls that worry you. It is the accompanying sound of canine sniffs headed your way. You nearly void yourself as you picture the Furfrou doing to you as he did to his last victim... but it's too late to run. The stomps grow louder. The sniffing draws nearer, until you can be sure that he is sniffing right at the base of the tree. You hear a flurry of footfalls... but no bite comes. Not even a snarl. Poking your head out, you see not the muzzle of the Furfrou....instead, his enormous cock is pointing straight towards you.

Realizing what is about to happen, you grab the leaf and dive to the other side of the tree, just in time to avoid getting hit with a deathray force blast of urine. The yucky smelling dog piss ricochets off of the bark of the tree. You cower beneath the leaf, the thunderous roar of the piss pitter pattering against the tree terrifying you even if you aren't in its range. The soil around you begins to dampen, and a puddle gradually begins to form around the tree. Just when the puddle of piss is about to expand out to you, the Furfrou stops and lowers his leg.

You hear another flurry of stomps. Poking your head out, you see the Furfrou's enormous backside squatting over you. It does not take a genius to realize what's about to happen. But just as you get ready to run once more, a shrill female voice sounds out. "OHMYGOSH! HE'S THAT FURFROU'S ABOUT TO SHIT! BECCA LOOK" "Guh-rossss!" "THEN WHY ARE YOU RECORDING IT?" "For the memes. Duh. " Damned harpies! You can't run now ....they'd spot you. But the alternative...urgh. The air is growing foul already.

But just before the dog can do his business upon the leaf, his trainer quickly and unwittingly saves the day. "Hold on. No. Stop. Let me get your bag."The young man desperately says. he squats down, reaches into a pack, and pulls out a clear plastic bag with harnesses affixed to it. With practiced efficiency he straps it around the Furfrou and allows it to shit once more. You manage to catch a glimpse of what follows... the first inklings of a turd poking out from the bottom, followed by a sudden rush as a massive stool threatening to fill the bag to the breaking point. Unable to avert your gaze from the rancid mass of mess, you make a horrifying discovery...human bones. The dog's stool is chock full of them. You grow faint at the site and nearly pass out.


Mercifully, the dog leaves without inspecting the area further.



Minutes later, a woman pushing a diaper-clad boy in a stroller stomps along. The boy, in what is quickly becoming a recurring theme today, has a pair of 'tinies' held firmly in his clutches. He is excitedly banging their heads and torsos against one another, in a mock fight that neither of his captives seem remotely interested in. His mother, meanwhile, is busy talking on the phone about tech demo.

And it is here that you hatch a plan. While the baby and his mother are both an eminent threat to you, they are both eminently distracted. You might be able to hitch a ride...