Palm Valley University was nothing like home.
As I joined the milling throngs of my fellow incoming freshmen, I saw this as a place where I could find myself. And, maybe, work up the courage to tell my folks who I was.
For one thing, I was pretty sure I was at least mostly gay.
I'd had a girlfriend back in high school, and we'd slept together; but I also had a boyfriend, and I'd slept with him, too. Looking around my high school, I'd realized that, when it came to who I wanted to sleep with, the ratio of boys to girls was about 4 to 1. Like I said, mostly gay. But I hadn't told my parents about this; I didn't know how they'd react.
Now, like I said, even though I was mostly gay, there were a few girls who appealed to me; and one was right in front of me as I was walking, sticking her ass in the air as I approached. I couldn't resist the temptation, or I didn't want to; either way, I smacked that ass as I walked past. I didn't even look as she called out, "Asshole."
My first class was to be Gender Studies. Okay, you got me: I picked it so I could joke about it with the other guys in the dorm. "I've been studying gender since I hit puberty; who knew I could get a degree in it?" The other students and I shuffled into the lecture hall.
Standing in front of the blackboard was an androgynous figure in a pastel suit. "Welcome, class," they said. "My name is Professor Ryan, and I will be your teacher in this class."
They walked to the front of the desk, and sat on it. "Now, let's get one thing clear, before we go any further: I've heard each and every joke there has ever been about the name of this course; and I do mean each and every one. Therefore, there is absolutely no need for any of you to try to favor me with your attempts at comedic insight. Are we clear?"
Damn. Busted.
"Now, then. In this course, you will learn about the different ways that you are encouraged to behave, depending on your biological sex. You will also learn about how society treats you differently, depending on whether you present yourself as male, female, both, or neither. The difference is, you won't just learn these things by sitting in this hall and listening to me, or to our guest speakers; no, you will learn these things firsthand, each and every day.
"Now, I know what you're asking yourself: 'How can I possibly learn these things every day? It's not like you can change who we are.' Well, as a matter of fact, we can. Thanks to the generosity of a company called Radeon Scientific, each of you will spend the next semester as the opposite sex; or, perhaps, as another spot on the gender spectrum."
Needless to say, this little announcement caught everyone by surprise. The hall was filled with mutterings of consternation.
One student raised his hand. "Professor," he said, "even if what you said was possible, there's no way you could do this without our consent."
"You are correct," the professor replied. "I couldn't do such a thing without your consent. Luckily for me, everything I just said is all laid out in the syllabus for this course. You're welcome to check, if you doubt me."
We checked. We gulped. Sure enough, there it was.
"Nobody ever reads the syllabus."
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