While Mom ordered food from Olive Garden via Uber Eats, I went upstairs to raid her closet for a more comfortable outfit. In part because I was aware of the truth about my mother's past, I found it strange to rummage through her closet.
It was amazing to think that she had once been a boy when I saw all the pictures of her on the wall, including cheerleading, being crowned prom queen at her senior prom, and getting married to Dad.
I had just decided on a pair of capris, pants, and a blouse when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around to see Mom standing in the doorway. "You've only been awake for a few hours, and you're already behaving like every woman I've ever met," Mom smiled. "You've been up here for the past 20 minutes, rummaging through my closet. Undoubtedly seeking the perfect outfit to wear."
"That, and trying to reconcile the fact you used to be a boy with all the photos of you growing up," I said, holding up the outfit I'd chosen.
"Well, obviously, all the photos of me as a little girl were fabricated because I was transformed into a 15-year-old girl rather than a newborn," Mom said, pulling a cheerleader picture off the wall, "but all the pictures of me in high school are real."
"What went through your mind when you found out Radeon wanted to turn you into a girl?" I asked, sitting on my parents' bed.
"I remember being terrified of the prospect of becoming a girl, at least until they told me that retraining my mind was part of the process." Mom came over and sat down next to me, saying, "Even after the procedure and retraining, I spent my first few months in America trying to act like a boy. In fact, I believe some of my classmates mistook me for a lesbian."
"If you don’t mind me asking, what was the final nail in that coffin?"
"It was after school one day; I was walking through the halls, completely focused on this project I had to do for English," Mom blushed. "I was so preoccupied with that, in fact, that I didn't notice I'd wandered into the boys' locker room."
"No!" I exclaimed, a big smile on my face, "you didn't!"
"You bet I did!" Nodding, Mom said. "Tyler Amherst, a freshman on the football team, was standing right in front of me, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. That sight, let me tell you, was all I could think about for days after."
We continued talking for a few minutes longer until I decided it was time for me to get dressed. But before I went into the bathroom, I hugged Mom and said, "I think this is going to do wonders for our relationship, Mom."
"I think you're right, Holly," Mom said as she wrapped her arms around me. "I'm looking forward to finally having a daughter."
*********************************
The living room was cozy as we settled down to watch "The 12 Days of Christmas Eve." Mom dimmed the lights, and the soft glow from the Christmas tree illuminated the room. The movie's opening scenes were filled with the festive atmosphere of the holiday season, which helped put us in a cheerful mood.
As the plot unfolded, I found myself drawn to the character of the daughter in the movie. She yearned for a deeper connection with her father, who seemed preoccupied with work and had little time for her. While my relationship with Dad was different, I couldn't help but empathize with the girl's desire for a meaningful bond with her father.
Throughout the film, I noticed the transformation of the daughter's relationship with her father as they embarked on a heartwarming journey together. It reminded me that relationships could change and grow, given the right circumstances and efforts. However, my own journey of transitioning into a woman made me apprehensive about the impact it might have on my relationship with Dad.
The movie's themes of love, forgiveness, and family resonated deeply with me. I couldn't help but wonder if, in time, my father would come to understand and accept my decision, just as the characters in the movie found reconciliation and understanding.
During some of the more emotional moments, I glanced at Mom, who seemed engrossed in the film as well. It was heartening to have her by my side, supporting me through this challenging period of my life. I felt grateful for her understanding and patience, as she had already been through her own transformation and faced challenges I could only imagine.
As the movie came to an end, I wiped away a few tears that had welled up in my eyes. It was a touching story that left me feeling hopeful, even though I knew my journey would be filled with its own obstacles.
"You okay, Holly?" Mom asked, putting an arm around my shoulders.
I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I'm just feeling a bit emotional after watching that movie. It really hit close to home."
Mom gave me a reassuring squeeze, "Change is never easy, especially when it involves those we love. But remember, dear, you are still you, no matter your appearance or gender. And true love and understanding can withstand any challenge."
Her words brought comfort, and I knew I had her unwavering support. With that in mind, I took a deep breath, feeling more determined to navigate the journey ahead with grace and courage.
As the credits rolled, Mom suggested we make some hot chocolate and sit by the fireplace for a little while longer. The warmth of the fireplace and the comforting taste of the hot chocolate created a cozy atmosphere that enveloped us in a cocoon of love and understanding.
We chatted about the movie, life, and my aspirations. Mom listened attentively, offering wisdom and encouragement. In that moment, I felt a sense of unity with her that I had never experienced before. It was a precious connection, one that I hoped to build with Dad too, in due time.
As the evening wound down, I hugged Mom tightly, expressing my gratitude for her support and love. "Thank you for being there for me, Mom," I said.
She smiled warmly, "Always, my dear. We're in this together, and I'm here for you every step of the way."
With renewed strength and hope in my heart, I headed to my room that night, knowing that the journey ahead would be challenging but that I had my mother's love and the courage to face it with determination and grace.
********************
I was upstairs in bed, struggling to sleep due to a combination of the wine I'd had with Mom and my breasts making it difficult to find a comfortable position. It was just after 1:30 in the morning when, just as I was finally about to fall asleep, I heard movement coming from downstairs.
Despite knowing how stupid I was, I got out of bed, grabbed the bathrobe I'd acquired from Radeon, and walked downstairs. Here I was, a 5’7" woman who barely weighed 130 soaking wet, walking toward the source of a mysterious sound in the middle of the night.
When I saw a girl in a slasher movie do this, I thought she was too stupid to live.
When I got downstairs, I realized the noise was coming from the kitchen. I could hear someone mumbling as I got closer. I looked for the closest thing I could find to defend myself, which happened to be the empty wine bottle from earlier.
I continued toward the kitchen door, holding the wine bottle above my head just before entering. I was about to bludgeon whoever was standing around the corner when I realized it was Dad, rummaging through the fridge.
Lowering the bottle, I yelled, "Daddy! I was this close to hitting you over the head with a wine bottle! I thought you were a burglar!"
"You'd never intimidate a thief. He'd have his way with you before you could finish asking who was there," Dad said, his head still inside the fridge.
"Nice to know you have such faith in me, Daddy," I said as he shut the refrigerator door. Only then did I notice how bloodshot his eyes were and how he could barely stand. "Good God, you're hammered."
"Can you really blame me? My own wife lied to me for years, and my son traded in his dick for a secretary's job," he said, collapsing to the floor.
I had to try to pick up my father from the floor despite the fact that he was three inches taller and weighed about eighty pounds more than me. "Well, my father told me never to back down from a challenge," I responded, putting one arm beneath his armpit.
By some miracle, I was able to get Dad to his feet just as Mom rushed into the kitchen. "My God, Jacob!" she exclaimed, seeing Dad's condition.
Dad slipped free of my grasp and began ambling toward the family room. "You both are a disgrace to the male gender; get away from me." Halfway there, he turned to me and said, "I hope someone knocks you up so you can see the consequences."
My father had said some hurtful things to me over the years, particularly when he was drunk, but this one took the cake. I was on the verge of tears as Mom rushed into the family room, angrier than I'd ever seen her, and shoved Dad face-first onto the couch. "I can't believe you'd say such a thing to your own daughter. If you ask me, you're a disgrace to the male gender. At least Holly and I had the courage to give up everything to make our lives better."
Dad rolled onto his back and just stared up at Mom, either too drunk or too embarrassed to say anything. That was the last straw for me, and I stormed out of the kitchen and up to my bedroom.
By the time Mom entered the room a minute later, I was in tears. "Why would Daddy say something so hurtful?" I asked, looking at her.
"Shhhh, don't listen to what he said. You're a better man than he is, even now," Mom said, pulling me into her arms. She held me close, comforting me as I let out my pent-up emotions. In her embrace, I felt a sense of reassurance and strength, knowing that no matter what happened, I had my mother's unwavering support.  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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