I considered turning around and finding a hotel for the evening a hundred times during the drive from Radon. The journey had been long and filled with anxiety, and each mile seemed to add to the weight on my shoulders. I knew Mom would be there for emotional support, but I worried it wouldn't be enough to keep Dad from losing it when I told him who I was.
The only thing keeping me from doing it were text messages from Mom, telling me that she was home and that she'd already told Dad that there was something important I needed to tell him. Throughout the drive, those messages acted as a lifeline, reminding me that I wasn't alone in this pivotal moment of my life.
As I stepped out of my car, I felt a slight rush of adrenaline as I heard the click-clack of my heels on the sidewalk. I had carefully chosen my attire for this moment, wanting to present myself confidently and authentically. After a few deep breaths, I rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer.
Dad, as luck would have it, was the one who answered the door. After one look from him, I forgot what I was going to say. His stern expression made my heart race, and I knew I had to find the courage to speak my truth. "Hello," he said, taking a look at me. "Can I help you, ma’am?"
Mom was standing just behind Dad, a smile on her face. "This is going to sound strange, but thanks to a lab in town, I'm your daughter," I said, taking a few deep breaths to steady my nerves.
"I made that donation years ago." I've never seen Dad's face turn so red and so fast. "Are you attempting to trick me, young lady? How can I be sure you're my daughter?"
"It's not a scam, Daddy; you really are my father," I explained, only to realize the source of the confusion. "I’m Matthew!"
"There's no way you're Matthew," Dad exclaimed, his mouth agape. "He'd never be caught dead in women's clothing."
I tried to remain calm, though his words stung. "There was a complication with my interview this morning; no one told me the position had been filled yesterday," I said as I stepped inside to avoid drawing unwanted attention from neighbors. Leaning against the now-closed door, I said, "Me and this other guy were about to leave when the HR rep said there were two open positions that the company was desperate to fill.”
"If you don't mind, Matthew should be coming home any time now, and I'd like it if he could park in his usual spot," Dad said, motioning to the door.
I was shocked by how dense Dad was about all of this. "Daddy, I'm parked in my spot! I’m home now!”
Mom stepped in between us as things became tense, saying, "Jacob, why don't you go have a seat in the kitchen? We'll be there in a minute."
Dad turned and walked down the hall to the kitchen in silence. I waited until he was out of earshot before turning to Mom and saying, "What the hell! I thought you were going to lay the groundwork?"
"I did my best," Mom said, trying not to lose her cool. "Do you realize how difficult it is to say your son is a woman without actually saying those words? Let's not forget you were the one who made him think you were the result of a sperm donation!"
"If he's like this hearing about my news, your bombshell might just give him a coronary," I said, raising my hand to my brow and shaking my head.
"I don't think we're that fortunate. He's on the verge of understanding," Mom said, turning me around to face the kitchen. "Go in there and convince him that you're his son turned daughter."
After that, Mom and I walked down the hall to the kitchen, the sound of our heels clicking-clacking in unison echoing off the walls. "Someone better get the point really quickly, or I'm calling the cops to have this woman arrested," Dad yelled from his seat as we entered the kitchen.
"You don't seriously expect me to believe you'll have your own daughter arrested," I said, crossing my arms across my chest.
"You still haven't convinced me that I'm your father; so, unless you want to spend the night in a holding cell, get to the point."
"OK, fine," I said as I took a seat at the table. "As I was about to say before you rudely interrupted me, the HR representative mentioned that there were two open positions as secretaries for two of the company's executives. I was hesitant at first, but the $43,000 salary and incredible benefits package quickly won me over. The only problem was that they were looking for women to fill the positions."
"OK, that seems like a plausible story. Now try to convince me that you're really my son," Dad said, taking a seat across from me.
I leaned against the table, fully aware that this would give my father a clear view of my chest. "f I wasn't your son, how would I know about the time you lost your cool with one of my teammates because he displayed poor sportsmanship?"
When Dad heard those words come out of my mouth, all the color in his face faded. "Is that really you, Matthew?"
"Yeah, Daddy; it's really me," I said, reaching across the table to grab my father's hands.
"How is something like this even possible?" gesturing to my body, he continued, "You have breasts and a figure!"
"I promise to explain everything, Daddy, but Mom has something important to tell you first."
**************************
I've never felt so sorry for anyone than I do right now for my father. As if learning his son had turned into a woman wasn't bad enough, he'd just spent the previous 45 minutes listening to Mom spill the beans about her past, including things she hadn't told me yet.
When Mom finished speaking, he quietly rose from his seat and went to the fridge to get a beer. After opening it, he stood motionless for a moment, just staring at me and my mother, trying to process everything. "Let me see if I understand, Grace; you used to be a Brazilian boy living as a street urchin?"
"When you say it like that, you make it sound far worse than it is; but yes, that's the gist of it." Mom continued, "I wanted to tell you when we first started dating, but I realized you weren't mature enough to handle the truth."
"What do you mean I'm not mature enough?" Dad asked, his voice almost hoarse.
"For starters, there's what you just said: I wasn't a street urchin. But back then, you had certain antiquated views on how men and women should behave in society."
"How should I react to something like this? It's not every day I learn that my son has become a woman for a job, or that my wife used to be a teenage boy," Dad continued as he returned to the table.
"After all these years, Jacob, I would have thought your daughter and I deserved more support than you've given us thus far."
Dad sat at the table in silence, staring at the two of us. He eventually began speaking to no one in particular, asking, "What exactly does this company do?"
"Radeon enables people to live the lives they were supposed to live; instead of the ones they were mistakenly born into. It's a time-consuming process to figure out what that life is supposed to be, but once that's done, we inject our clients with specially programmed nanites."
“So, like witness protection, but turned up to 11?” Dad asked, intrigued.
“Not exactly,” Mom said, shaking her head. “However, we have helped the government in that regard.”
“And I have no way of knowing if someone I know used to be somebody entirely.”
“It wouldn't be very effective if you could tell easily, would it?” Mom paused to clear her throat and asked, "Do you remember that elderly woman who moved in around the corner last month?"
"I remember her; I offered to shovel her sidewalk the next time it snowed. Wait," he said, looking at Mom, "are you telling me she used to be a younger woman?"
"You're half correct." Mom continued, placing a coaster under Dad's beer, "She used to be a star football player out of Tacoma."
"Wait a minute," I said, shocked. "Are you seriously telling me his ideal life was as an elderly woman? She's going to die that much sooner, just to be happy?"
"For some, it is not the years in our lives that are important, but the life in our years." Mom said, looking in my direction, "If she takes good care of herself, she should be here for another twenty years, and she'll look back on more than hopes of a career gone awry."
"I suppose so, but that's a pretty drastic measure to take for happiness." Seeing my parents' expressions, I added, "And yes, I realize how hypocritical that makes me, because I got a sex change in order to get a job."
For the next few minutes, the three of us had a casual conversation, but it was clear that Dad was still struggling with everything. He looked at me near the end of the conversation and said, "How are we going to explain all of this to your friends and the rest of the family?"
"One of Mom's employees agreed to create a Facebook post in which I came out as a trans woman. She even promised to include doctored photos of my body's changes over the year."
That was the last straw for Dad, who got up from his seat and said, "I'm going down to the bar; I need a drink."
"But you've got a drink right here, Daddy," I said, pointing to the bottle he'd barely touched.
When I called him 'daddy,' he shuddered visibly. He returned his gaze to Mom and me and said, "This is all too much for me right now. I love you both, but I'm not sure I can trust myself around you right now."
Mom and I were quiet as Dad got his things together and left the house. After a pause, I told Mom, "All things considered, I think he handled it pretty well, given the circumstances."
"I suppose so, but I think I'll be sleeping alone for a while."
I twiddled my thumbs for a moment before asking, "So, what do you want to do now?"
Mom left the table and got up without saying anything. She pulled out two glasses and an unopened bottle of red wine as I sat there watching. "How about we order some takeout, open this bottle of wine, and watch a Lifetime movie?"
"Believe it or not, that sounds like an amazing idea," I said with a smile.  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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