This choice: Mrs. West has everyone over for lunch... • Go Back... “So, this is what you do on a daily basis, huh?”
“I mean, there’s not usually this many people over, but…” Haley took a moment to glance around the room appreciatively, “Yeah, pretty much.”
The living room was livelier now than it had been in years. Since even before the girls left home. The girls had never had more than one or two friends over at a time, but to think that all these people could fit in their modest three-room cracker box was almost unheard of!
“Why am I not surprised?”
No one was quite sure why the waitress from Big Daddy’s had decided to join, even if she was just going to act like a pill the entire time. Haley blamed Courtney. Tara didn’t know Courtney’s name, so she just blamed the busty chick with the glasses. But the plump, pitch-black pouter was the least of Haley’s concerns…
“It’s also not usually this… uncomfortable…”
Haley hadn’t had to share the couch in forever! And never with more than one other person. Her sister, her mom, Courtney sometimes… but how was she supposed to get comfy with Tara, Courtney, and that fat waitress from Big Daddy’s all squeezed onto one couch?!
Haley’s wide hips pressed tightly against Courtney’s flaring thighs, leg meat chafing uncomfortably against leg meat as the chunky freshman tried to wriggle her way into a more comfortable position. All of her ample flesh didn’t exactly make such a feat easy—but neither did Courtney’s or Dani’s! Even Tara’s skinny butt felt like too much… someone had to go!
“Jesus could you not?” Danielle’s stomach wobbled from side to side
“Haley, knock it off!” Courtney whined
“Mom’s gonna be so mad if you get salsa on her couch.”
“Oh my God everyone just shut uuuup!”
“Girls, is everything okay in there?” Mrs. West called from her ever-present place in the kitchen, sounding as if she were scolding a bunch of children rather than the (overly) grown women that she was speaking to.
“Uh… yeah Mom!” Haley lied, “We’re fine!”
Haley leaned back into her seat. Her stupid, uncomfortable seat. This was why they needed an armchair. Not just so it would tie the room together (instead of just having a stupid TV against one wall and the couch against the other!) but so other people could sit! Gawd, it wasn’t that hard! All this stress was making her grumpy… and hungry.
“Okay, look, someone sit on the floor.” The chunky brunette insisted in a hushed tone
“I don’t wanna sit on the floor.”
“Um, I’m a guest here.”
“Your ass is the only one with enough padding to not be bothered by it.” Tara cut in, “I say you sit on the floor.”
“Why are you always picking on me—you’ve got two other chicks just as chubby as I am.”
“You wish we were as fat as you are.”
“Okay, who invited Wednesday Addams?”
And the debate sort of escalated like that. They may have been whispering in hushed tones so as not to anger the queen of the kitchen just a few feet away, but their whispers were just as hairy and equally as counterproductive! Our three fat friends and Tara couldn’t have been less egalitarian if they tried!
But it got worse—all of their arguing meant that they were getting quite worked up! Bodies started moving, arms waving, cheeks shimmying and fingers pointing. And with four girls at once, three of them hardly as light as they liked to think that they were, that meant that the poor couch beneath them was taking quite a bit of strain!
“Girls?” Mrs. West asked again, this time with a much firmer tone of voice, “Don’t make me come in there.”
“We’re fine, Mom, just—unf!” Haley grunted, “Having a little trouble figuring out seating arrangements!”
Unconvinced, the older West woman rolled her eyes and put the utensils down. Dinner would be fine for a moment, certainly long enough to qualm whatever was going on in there. So she took a few steps forward, poking her head into the living room, with the intention of giving a stern “Mom” look and quieting everything down. All she needed was another half hour and supper would be ready!
But instead, her eyes widened in terror as she saw one of the legs on her couch begin to bend, and bend… until it snapped!
Cheap wood shattered, knocking the already off-kilter couch unbalanced. The uneven distribution meant that all four legs practically exploded in splinters, and unfortunately all four girls were knocked out of their seats by the couch’s bucking! Three pudgy bodies (and Tara) came tumbling down without a clue as to what had happened.
“Great job fatass.”
“Again—two other asses, just as fat as mine!”
“I am so sorry Mrs. West.”
“My ass had nothing to do with it!”
And even though they were now on the floor, their bickering continued. At least until Mrs. West let out a strong, sturdy
“ENOUGH!”
Which was sufficiently frightening enough that it scared each and every girl (even the ones that didn’t live there) straight enough to settle down. Everyone moved to the kitchen table where they did their best to keep things civil until dinner.
“Now, this is part ‘Goodbye Tara’, part ‘We Have Guests’, so I made plenty for everyone.” Mrs. West said with a proud smile, her hands planted firmly on her wide hips as everyone looked on in awe of the spread that she’d whipped up for them, “So that means don’t be shy—eat up, everyone!”
You didn’t need to tell anyone twice.
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