Ah, the Valhallan 597th, home of the famous commissar Ciaphas Cain, with special attention from fellow Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, Amberley Vail. Suffice it to say not even my close colleague Amberley or one of the most esteemed regiments in the entire Astra Militarum were quite safe from this trend. I will supplement this category with extracts from the Cain Archive, as the Commissar's excellent literary stylings, as well as Amberley's interpolations, tell this tale far better than I could, even if the events take place largely on my homeworld.
EXTRACTED FROM THE CAIN ARCHIVE
The following tale is somewhat embarrassing, not only for the Valhallan 597th, who faced the brunt of the trepidation laid forth in this section from the archive, but also for myself, who was also caught up in its events. Regardless of the potential personal loss of face, however, I feel it necessary to bring this segment to light, if only as a cautionary tale about the subtle dangers that exist within the Galaxy, and how even Inquisitors are not safe if they are ever lax, even for a mere moment. I ask any readers not to judge too harshly, as I assure you that in the same situation, it would be difficult to say whether anyone would have done better. Nonetheless, I think we should begin with Cain's first observations of the Valhallan 597th's first deployment onto the world of Osbera, a planet that has known its fair share of conflict over the millennia, though this particular extract begins shortly after another extract recently released, the events of Drechia and Ironfound, some decades into Cain's association with the regiment. Needless to say that, despite whatever implications may be gleaned from the document itself, the regiment, and myself, did eventually recover, as our status in events later in the chronological turn of events obviously demonstrates. But I will concede at the time that it did seem rather hopeless. Nonetheless, I will do my typical duty and let Cain's work speak for itself, with my traditional, occasional editorial interpolations.
- Amberly Vail, Ordo Xenos.
Forgive me for stating the obvious, but I truly can't stand the agents of Chaos, particularly that vile debauched creature Slaanesh. I know of course that such is expected of me, being a hero of the Imperium and not to mention an imperial Commissar at that, and even further an occasional agent for a certain gorgeously beautiful Inquisitor, but I feel that sometimes I just simply can't emphasize that enough. The 597th's mission to Osbera was completely hectic, one of perhaps my most life-threatening encounters while assigned to the Valhallan guard regiment, and for reasons that to this day I find completely Barmy.
My first presentiments of trouble didn't start coming until after our regiment had landed and been firmly entrenched on the place; a veritable paradise world traditionally, Osbera had been recently racked with a double-headache of both a Xenos attack (the Eldar1), and a Chaos incursion (apparently a cult of the aforementioned devious pleasurefiend). My palms began to itch just before Colonel Kasteen approached me with the news that the brilliant minds in the Munitorum had somehow managed to misplace nearly all of the regiment's ration supplies2 in their organization of the deployment.
'Well isn't that absolutely Frakked.' I cursed, walking down the ramp from our shuttle with all the Commissarial presence I could muster, passing troopers stopping occasionally to catch a glimpse of their commanding officer and the legendary hero, Ciaphas Cain disembarking. 'How are we suppposed to take back this dirtball if our men and women are starving to death?'
'Fortunately we happen to be deployed on a Paradise world for once.' Kasteen offered, flicking through the dataslate that bore the news of the Munitorum's most recent grievous error. 'Unlike most places we get dropped, we can probably gather enough food for our troops from the surrounding environment. Osbera is famous all across the sector for its delicious food and the rapid rate at which it is produced and moved out, almost as if this were an Agri-world. About time we got this kind of posting, we could use the chance to relax a little and l've always wanted to try some local flora and fauna that won't try and kill me first.'
A valid enough sentiment, even if I couldn't quite consider being on a planet that included anyone trying to shoot at you relaxing, but I couldn't help but feel my palms begin to itch. And believe me, if I'd known what lay at the heart of this situation, I'd have had more than just itching palms.'
_________________________________________________________
1. Of the craftworld variety. Cain typically demonstrates an almost complete inability to tell the difference between Craftworld Eldar and the marauding Dark Eldar, so I felt it best to establish that fact now, especially since future events don't exactly do an excellent job of painting a clear picture.
2. Yet another example of the Astra Militarum's branch of Munitorum adepts being just as efficient as any other branch's, and perhaps the event that set everything in this chronicle into motion.
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