"Alright, big cat, nearly there..."
Evan helped Matt down the hallway towards his apartment. The tiger was having a hard time walking as he was stumbling around and tripping over his own feet. When they got to the door, Matt fished his keys out of his pocket and tried unlocking the door. On the fourth failed attempts, Evan grabbed the keys from his and unlocked it himself, leading the tiger inside.
"Home, sweet *urp* home!" The tiger yanked off his shirt and undid his pants, tossing both to the floor, exposing his orange and black stripes and extremely distended belly.
For the past week, the two felines hung out a lot, typically at one of the local bars. Both would have drinks, but Matt would usually overdo it and Evan would help him get back to his place. The lion didn't mind. He enjoyed Matt's company and liked having a friend in this city. Plus, Evan would stay over and, in the morning, the two would go to a delightful diner, The Hangry Hippo, for breakfast where Matt usually tried curing his hangover with an ungodly amount of greasy food.
All that food and empty calories in the loads of beer he was drinking was having an immediate impact in his waistline as his stomach had ballooned out into a beer gut, looking as if the tiger was swallowed a basketball. It now looked like an overinflated basketball thanks to the uncountable beers he had that evening.
The lion kicked aside the discarded clothes as he shut the door behind him. Matt, clad only in a pair of white boxers, sat on his living room couch flipping through channels on the television. Evan took off his own jeans and shirt. Both furs were comfortable with each other's bodies ("We're the only studs in this town full of fatties!" Matt had once said) and the apartment wasn't air conditioning properly so it was usually pretty warm.
Feeling buzzed but not drunk, Evan made his way over to the refrigerator where Matt always kept the best beers in stock. One benefit of being friends with the tiger was that he always let his friends take beer. So the lion opened it up and grabbed a bottle of Sierra Madre IPA.
"Grab me a can of Schmoor's!" Matt yelled from the couch.
"Haven't you had enough?"
"hAvEn'T yOu HaD eNoUgH?" the tiger jokingly mocked back.
Evan chuckled as he grabbed a can of beer for his friend. "Hey, where do you keep your bottle opener?" he asked.
"Umm, it should be...bottom drawer by the fridge?"
Inside the drawer was a random mess of various kitchen utensils: Spatulas of assorted sizes, whisks of assorted sizes, most of a set of measuring cups, and at the very bottom was the bottle opener. As Evan yanked it out, a large plastic funnel fell forward from way back in the drawer.
"Find it?" Matted asked from the couch.
"I did!" Before Evan shut the drawer, he saw the funnel and had a fun little idea.
"Where's my beer?" asked Matt as the lion walked behind the couch. He looked over to see his friend holding the funnel. "Wassup with that?" he asked, gesturing towards the funnel.
"Up for a little challenge, big cat?" asked Evan, cracking open a can of beer with one paw.
It took a second for Matt to understand as he glanced back and forth between the beer and the funnel. He smirked. "It'll be just like college again!" the tiger said giving his bloated belly a slap. "Alright, let's fill up this tank!"
Matt leaned his head back and Evan placed the funnel into his awaiting mouth. As he slowly poured it in, the tiger started sucking down the cheap beer. Evan cracked open another Schmoor's readying it for the funnel.
gulp gulp gulp gulp
In went the second beer with no signs of slowing down by Matt.
gulp gulp gulp gulp
Evan watched as the tiger's already rounded belly swelled up even more, his orange and black stripes stretching out further and further apart.
gulp gulp gulp gulp
Beer #3 down, on to Beer #4, and the lion could hear creaks and groans from the inflating stomach.
gulp gulp gulp gulp
Matt's eyes winched in pain as Evan poured in the sixth beer.
gulp gulp gulp gulp
Evan was getting worried now. The tiger looked ready to burst.
gulp gulp gulp gulp
When the funnel emptied one last time, Evan pulled it from the tiger's mouth. Matt gasped for air while running a paw along his ridiculously full belly, hissing in pain.
"Alright... alright...your tur-" Before he could finish his sentence, he slumped over, quickly passing out and falling asleep.
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