"Barkeep! Another!"
"Sir, you're, like, the only one here. There's no need to yell."
The thick panda manning the bar slid Evan another bottle of Grendel's Own Cranberry Cider. It was the fourth the lion had and, along with the small mountain of fries he devoured, he was starting to feel a bit bloated.
The tavern itself had been pretty empty, the only other patron having left half an hour ago. Evan chalked this up to it being still pretty early in the afternoon.
Cracking open the bottle, the lion brought it up to his mouth and started chugging down the delightful brew. The front door of the tavern squeaked opened, and the lion glanced over to see that a tiger walked in, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the darkness in the tavern. The first thing Evan noticed about him was, like the lion, this tiger was quite trim, maybe even a few pounds less than Evan. He also noticed that, unlike the tourists who frequented the streets in tacky flowery shirts and shorts, this fur was dressed in a simple shirt and jeans.
The tiger glanced around, spotting Evan at the bar. He sauntered up, taking a seat one stool away from the lion.
"What'll have?" the panda asked.
"What do you have that's dark?" the tiger said.
"Broken Skull Stout."
"I'll have one of those." The panda poured a tall pint glass full of dark brown liquid and placed it in front of the tiger. He brought it to his lips, made eye contact with Evan, and raised his glass to make a silent cheers. The lion raised his bottle in return. Both took healthy swigs of their drinks.
The two sat silently drinking. The panda grabbed a bus tub full of glasses and plates and went into the back. The tiger then leaned closer to Evan. "Hey, is it just me, or this town full of fat asses?"
The lion leaned over. "Yeah, I know, right?" Evan said in a hushed whisper. "Where are all the hot babes at? Isn't this supposed to be a beach town?"
"They're all sheltered away at the resorts on their private beaches," the tiger replied. "And I'm not going to book a night there just to stare at eye candy. Besides, I-" He stopped talking when the overweight panda walked back in. She grabbed a couple of empty plastic tubs from the bar and walked into the back again. As she did, the tiger pointed at her wide rear and made a dude gesture.
Evan chuckled. "I've been here less than a week and still haven't found anyone with a BMI under 60."
The tiger stifled a laugh. "Oh man, that's funny! Are you just visiting?"
"Nah, I moved here just the other day. You?"
"Same. Work transferred me here. The ManufactCo branch needed a new Assistant General Manager. I'd have rejected the transfer if I knew how many fatties this city had." The tiger stuck out a paw. "The name's Matt."
The lion shook his paw. "Evan."
The tiger lifted his glasses and downed what little remained of his beer. Evan did the same with his own. "Alright, next rounds on me!"
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