Brushing off the weirdness you encountered on the way to the lake, you plop down on the comfiest-looking rock nearby, bring out your fishing rod, put some bait on the hook (barbless, of course; you don't want to KILL the fishies), and take a swing. You manage to send the line soaring a good 30 ft. out from shore with a splash. Seems like the commotion might've made those guppies back off a bit, though.
Oh well! It's not like you have somewhere to be or anything...
...
*splish* *splash*
Huh, your bait's getting some attention already. Nice! And here I thought I scared everything awa--
"GYAAAH!"
A sudden, massive tug at the bait end of your fishing rod nearly sends you careening into the lake water! Luckily, even against the slippery mud of the shore, you manage to hold your ground and start reeling. But...wow, whatever's caught really isn't budging! It's almost impossible to crank the handle back even an inch further. You're starting to get second thoughts about catching this thing, honestly. With how much trouble it's given you in the 10 or so seconds you've had it snagged, it's a wonder that you're not looking at a snapped line and no bobber right now.
Yet, just as you think that...the line slackens. Not completely--it's definitely harder to reel it in than before--but not nearly as much as a moment ago.
Hmm, big fish are supposed to run more than that. Hope I didn't hurt it too bad, you worry to yourself. Ehhh, we'll see when I get it on land. Couldn'ta yanked that hard, right?
Regardless, you keep on reelin' that catch. It must be one of the biggest fish you'll ever see in the wild; the only thing that's given you this much of an initial fight was a particularly nasty largemouth bass. Thing flew outta the water and slapped you right in the face...
...
Alright. Almost to the shore now...let's see what I got!
You stare intently at the surface of the water, hoping to see your specimen ASAP. It slowly rises from the shallow, yet surprisingly pristine water. The distorted image of its body grows clearer, and you notice immediately an unusual coloring to its scales. Most fish out here would be drab and greenish-gray, but this one has a color you've never seen before...a brilliant violet, with subtle, paleish pink accents along its body. You also notice a set of weirdly full-looking lips, but it feels like that only adds to the charm of this thing. Almost seems like it's from a cartoon, but that doesn't make it any less amazing to look at.
"Wow, you're pretty..."
And wow is it huge! From what you can see of it, the beautiful fish is almost as long as you are tall! No wonder it was so hard to get. It's weird, though...you didn't think about this earlier, but it doesn't seem like it's actually bitten into the hook at all. Then, what is it hooked on? "Ah, whatever, I'll get a closer look when it's up here. C'mere, fishy!"
But right as you're about to swing your catch on shore, it starts pushing against the line again, almost as hard as before! You manage to catch yourself again, and start yanking the whole rod backwards. Damnit, you're so close! You can't let this catch go now!
Pulling with more force than ever before, miraculously NOT snapping your line in two, you manage to pull the beaut right out of the water, sending it high into the air! Now you can bask in the fish's full glory, noticing how striking its patterning is; in fact, if you're looking at it right, isn't that a heart on its sides--?
Wait, it's getting closer. And closer. And closer! It's headed right for you, face first--!!
*SMOOOCH!*
Without warning, those huge, mauve lips of its slam into yours--they're damn near half as big as your face, and about as wide, covering both your mouth and nose in one fell swoop. And, bizarrely enough, they start...sucking your mouth?
You grunt and lie there in shock. Only after a second or two do you really notice the full weight of the fish as it bears down on your body, its bedazzling form sinking into yours. Most of its weight felt concentrated uncomfortably on your crotch. And with it wiggling around, it starts rubbing into you, making you feel even weirder.
Against your instinctive judgement, you stay still--don't want to accidentally push it into the water and ruin all your efforts. But strangely enough, it doesn't seem like the fish is actually struggling to get away; in fact, it almost seems like its pushing itself further onto your body. And its suckling on your mouth is getting more forceful. You can almost swear you feel a film of thick lipstick rubbing onto your skin...and...is that a tongue poking against your lips?!
Your discomfort quickly overwhelms you, and before you can think, you shove the brilliantly colored, fat-lipped fish off of you, gasping for breath once its lips detach from yours (which, in your opinion, took a very disturbing amount of effort).
Even more strangely, your catch doesn't topple over from the force of it. Instead, it starts...standing up? On its hind fins? On land? What the hell?!
All of a sudden, the fish moves its head down and glances at you, like a person would. And on its thick, generously coated lips lies a proud smirk. Then, without warning, it licks them, slowly, meaningfully, showing off a large, almost tentacle-shaped tongue. It was as if your unnervingly human-like fishy acquaintance was putting its--her?--mouth on display, just for you. You shudder.
And then, just as soon as she arrived, your catch started hopping back to the shore. Too flabbergasted by the past few minutes to even get up, you only sit there and watch. But when she's mere inches away from the water, she turns to you one final time, winking (?) and blowing a kiss at you (?!) before diving pristinely back into the water.
You stay exactly where you are for a good, long while, taking in everything that transpired. Once you confirm that you are NOT, in fact, having a really weird daydream by pinching your side, you blink several times and actually start getting up. A gentle breeze blows across your face, also confirming that, yes, that particular fish had something akin to lipstick on its lips. You subconsciously rub your mouth with your sleeve. But instead of coming off rather easily, whatever substance on the whole lower half of your face was sticky enough to stay directly on your face--and make the fabric of your shirt stick to your face for several seconds.
Oh, great. This stuffs gonna take forever to get off. God, I must look like a clown. At least my phone is dry...
...
WAIT! Damnit! You didn't get a picture of that thing! It was your biggest catch ever, by a longshot, and now its right back in the water! Part of you wants to just jump right into the water and start searching for it again, but another knows how foolish that would be. But then again, leaving without even a single piece of evidence of that strange, cartoonish beauty of a fish would absolutely sour your mood for the rest of the night, if not the week, if not the month, or the rest of your LIFE! You could be famous, have your name on the headlines--you can see it now:
'Local Fisherman Hauls Wacky New Species of Freshwater Fish, Gets Lake Named After Him!'
"Grr...what to do, what to do..."
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