You shake the sleep from your eyes and the sand from your hair. Hold on a hot minute - sand? why is there sand in your hive?
No, you are not in your hive, dummy. You're on a beach. Of course there's sand on a beach. Wow, are you dense or something?
This beach is actually pretty barren, though. You can smell the water but the pint-sized dunes block your pint-sized line of sight, so you can't see the ocean. What you can see, though, is some kind of construction project underway. There's a giant blue gal setting up shop here apparently.
Well, you aren't one to let good judgment ruin bad decisions, so you head on up to the work in progress and its constructor for some flabbergasting reason.
That's when reality reared its ugly head. And when a giant red-shod foot reared its heavy sand-covered bottom. She was stepping back to examine her handywork and you feel the full brunt of her weight as her heel shifts in the sand. It's really fucking heavy.
But there is more in store for you than the crushing might of this girl's rather hefty legs. It turns out that you're not a very handy foothold. You lack traction. And so, she tumbles.
The pratfal this girl takes would make the pros blush. Her legs lock and slide upwards with the switfness of a bazooka-powered banana cream pie and her arms gyrate with the celerity of a mighty seltzer-squirter. She actually seems to gain momentum on her upwards swing, creating more distance between her and the sandy ground. And, by extension, more velocity on her way back down on top of you.
You open your eyes just in time to lament your veiw of the meteoric backside of your - admittedly quite plush - doom.
The crash is intense and you feel a powerful pain coursing through you as she lands, crushing you stupid with her big round rump. You moan in the darkness of the crack that just broke your back.
She tenderly rubs the crushing orbs that presently have you painfully pinned and winces, showing a little fang out the corner of her mouth.
"Ow. That was certainly em8arrassing. I sincerely hope that I am still alone for at least a few more moments..."
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