You land with a classic "superhero landing" in the skunk giantess's purse and immediately begin looting around, nearly tripping over a blue pen as thick as your own body. You see her phone--and older model than Wolf-Girl's--shoved in a pocket above you, but decide to ignore it. It would take a climb to get there, and it looked like a flip phone: no way to use THAT thing silently.
Oh well, detective work was more fun anyway. Besides, it gave you more time to hear your goddess ply her trade.
“Oh, you’re sending Signals like lit flares!” Iris' voice purrs, giggling. Her customer gasps, buying the act hook line and sinker. “I’m getting a sense that someone close to you came into wealth, perhaps recently? And you’re…a bit of a social butterfly, hmm? Always making connections?”
“Yes…all true. That’s amazing, I didn’t even say anything! Daddy just scored big selling some apartment blocks, and we're loaded!” Wolf-Girl answers, wonder thick on her voice. “What other...Signals; am I sending?” She leaned in, clearly enraptured.
"Hmm...well, you're giving me a sense of hunger, and not just for those cheese puffs. You want more of everything, and now you can afford it, right?"
"This is soooo trippy! Yes, you've got it! Oh God, this is lit. Totes goosebumps right now!"
Pushing aside a tube of lipstick (inexpensive brand, but good quality: the skunk liked to look her best, but was a smart shopper, unlike the big spender wolfess), you chuckle: what a bunch of rubes! Iris was simply reading the obvious: the wolf’s designer clothes looked brand new, likely bought on a shopping spree just yesterday. She’d been chattering on her phone while in line, and her phone was pristine aside from the cheese dust— brand new, but she didn’t care about getting her new toy dirty; she’d just buy a new one. All the junk food meant poor impulse control; she barely thought before buying something. And she spent BIG, which meant she was rich. Safe guesses to build off of, if you knew what to look for in a person. The "Signals" Iris talked about were just what she read off people.
Nobody bought psychics talking to ghosts or reading palms anymore, but the right tricks slipped past the skeptics.
With a little practice and luck, she could seem like Sherlock while actually not knowing much at all.
Iris told you it was called a “cold reading”: read someone’s body language, clothes, behavior and whatnot well enough, and you could string someone along with educated guesses. Pose them as questions and leave them open-ended, and the sucker would trick themselves for you. Hell, Wolf-Girl had just revealed Daddy held her wallet. A neat trick—Iris had even given you some lessons—but it needed that extra oomph. That was where you came in. While Iris put on a show, you pilfered pockets, purses and bags to find all the personal bits you could. It was surprising how much you could learn about someone from what they carried.
Iris had taught you all you knew: being stealthy, what to look for, how to guess about people from random junk; even how to escape if you got trapped in a purse. She even had plenty of distractions planned in case you got caught. Your favorite was when she grabbed you and sat on you for "interrupting" her. You even learned to make a 'crunch' sound so anthros would think you'd been crushed when you were alive and well.
Plus, being under Iris' soft, massive rump for a while was quite nice.
"Ah yes..." you hear Iris mumble. In your mind's eye, you see her put on some silly pose: fingers steepled before her face, eyes closed and nose twitching. It always seemed to fool people that she was "channeling" some weird force. To you, it always looked like she was about to sneeze.
"Hmm...I'd bet your dad is trying something new? Maybe another sale?"
A happy yip from Wolf-Girl. "Yes!" She bounces giddily, the chair groaning under her ample cheeks. "Tell me, Miss Iris! I'm so worried..."
Worried you'll have less of Daddy's money to spend, you think, shuffling through some crumpled coupons. It looked like they were for a back-to-school sale somewhere. Looks like Miss Skunk might have kids. Interesting; Iris would love THAT little detail.
Iris' low batty purr echoes through the tent. Even having heard it countless times and muffled by the giant purse, it still made your hair stand on end. "This is...a faint Signal. Please be quiet, I have to focus..."
That was your cue: time to let Iris know about the dirt you'd dug up and clinch the reading. Still, couldn't hurt to poke around a bit more...the skunk woman's purse was downright spartan. It was spic-and-span clean, with no trash. There was barely anything helpful here aside from a small diamond ring. (Old, but in good shape and free of tarnish. It looked like a wedding ring, but it was too loved to say she was divorced or cheating. Maybe she was just getting it resized?)
You clamber up the purse's pocket, and take one last look around. You spot a notepad, and squinting you see a list names in blue ink.
Mike
Sally
^ Space camp? Or Water Park? (NO Arcades unless Straight A's!)
Bingo! The skunk DID have kids! And was pretty strict, too. Probably grooming them to be geniuses, get into college. THAT was good material! Filing that away, you slither up to the lip of the purse and risk a look up at the skunk-woman. She's still chatting with the alligator woman behind her, unaware of you.
Entirely unlike Iris and Wolf-Girl, the skunk lady is slender and fit, just big enough in the right places. (Her hips are respectably wide but small compared to Iris, and she has a little bit of a belly, but is on the thin side. You guessed she was in her younger forties.) She dressed professionally, a pressed navy blue business-dress, black hair tied in a bun, glasses on her face and polished grey heels on her feet. Probably worked for a bank...which made sense, given her no-nonsense attitude with her kids.
All that went through your mind in two seconds. Heck, you were already rappelling back up to the tree branch by the time you'd finished your profile on Banker Skunk Lady. Now it was time to help Iris. Squaring your legs, you take a breath and leap off again, this time swinging in under the tent's entrance. You let go from the line and free fall!
Air rushes past you as you fall toward the giantess bat.
Almost...
Just a little adjustment...
THERE!
With a plop, you land right on Iris' head, between her ears. Patting yourself on the back, you tap one of her ears and give the scoop.
"Daddy's breaking into the oil business. Buying some wells and investing in refineries...maybe say something vague about 'digging deep for wealth'? Rich school, she's gonna be worried about losing status. Soothe her on that. And she's celebrity crazy. Something to hit there..."
Iris purrs, and you take a moment to relax.
The line outside was long, full of anthros and their secrets.
Oh yes, tonight would be FUN.
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