I never really got why my Mom and my Aunt Rhonda didn't get along. Except for, you know, the whole pathological bitch thing. Aunt Rhonda was fun, loaded, and unlike some people in the family, didn't try to make you feel bad for just about anything. She was supportive, friendly, and probably the best example of a "cool aunt" I could have ever asked for.
From what I understand, she looked more like Grandpa than Grandma. Where Mom, Alice and I were all short pie-faced and blonde, Rhonda had a more angular look going on. She had dark brown hair and kept it cut in this quirky little 20's bob that I always really liked. She was a lawyer for some firm in town and lived in a nice apartment, but it's in the downtown area because she liked to go out and party. Seriously.
Looking back on it, maybe I do know why she and my Mom never got along--they had absolutely nothing in common!
"Auntie Rhonda!" I squealed in the car as I saw her waiting for me out on the apartment's stoop. I wriggled my way out of the car with surprising speed, considering I'd spent the whole ride over with my gut wedged underneath the steering wheel. A flood of McDonalds' wrappers cascaded onto the pavement, but I didn't care. I heaved myself up and waddled over to wrap my favorite aunt and new roommate in a big, fleshy hug.
"Oh I've missed you so much" she sounded so happy to see me as I pressed her tightly between my breasts, trying in vain to wrap her arms around me "Let me get a look at you!"
The last time my Aunt Rhonda saw me was last Christmas and about fifty pounds ago. She was over for the holidays with my Aunt Frieda, and it happened to be the Christmas that Mom decided that I was too fat for a real Christmas dinner so she made all this "healthy" crap. Nobody liked it. Rhonda was actually the first one to suggest pizza, and got me tickets to see Hillary Heart in concert. Seriously, coolest Aunt ever or what?
"You've gotten so... big!" I could tell she was caught off-guard by how much of me there was to go around, considering I had only gotten even fatter since the last time she'd seen me, "What did they feed you at that school, Mel?
"Everything, mostly." I rubbed the incredible swell of my stomach as it jutted out from underneath my t-shirt, "But hey, it's my fault for going back for seconds, right?"
Aunt Rhonda laughed. She had always been a really good-looking woman. Where my Mom was built like a beanpole, Aunt Rhonda had the curvy figure (and something of a reputation) of a seductress. Full round hips and a big butt with perky breasts. Is it weird that I've paid that much attention to this? She'd picked up something of a slight accent since moving down south too. Nothing really noticeable, but enough to make me feel even more... at home. Y'know?
"Well I don't know what I can do about 'everything', but mi casa es su casa." Rhonda broke away from the hug and pat me on the crest of my belly, "What do you say...
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