Miranda examined the statue at the museum exhibit with great enthusiasm. The dark skinned, dark haired college student was enthralled by the ancient Sumerian statue; carved in loving detail and remarkably preserved despite the eons.
Her boyfriend Mark, not so much. Museums were never his thing, and while he loved his girl he was never exactly an intellectual. They had a lot in common, just hokey old shit wasn't one of them. "The museum closes in ten minutes," he pressed her.
"It's so fascinating," she said, ignoring him, "The way that beauty standards change. Even just a century ago husky and large was the perfect man. It meant you were rich enough to afford the best."
"And I'm rich enough to afford a gym membership," he said, "Come on, Miranda, it's been a long day and if we go now I promise I'll give you a back rub when we get home."
"Aren't these two so cute, Mark?" she gushed to him.
Mark really couldn't say. He wasn't a dumb guy, being a science major, but he'd never been one for art or all things cute. What he did know was that he was looking at a small statuette of two figures. One was a vaguely male figure sitting on a throne while the other was a highly muscular little figure marked as female by her father large breasts.
The woman statue was muscular and knelt before the male one like he was a king and she was a knight or something. It was hard to say.
The male figure was immensely and almost comically obese; with a saggy double belly hanging all the way down to his feet, multiple chins and love handles that were spilling over his throne. The faces of both were worn off due to time but the male one had a staff of sorts in one hand which looked like a phallus. hence everyone thought the obese figure was a man.
"He's got man boobs!" Miranda laughed,
Mark sighed, "No wonder you get along so well with my brother; you have the same sense of humor. Damn immature."
Likewise the female figure not only boasted large breasts swinging free but a well sculpted labia that had resisted the ravages of time.
Miranda eyed the figures as her college boyfriend reluctantly took her away. "They're so cute. I wish you were fat and cuddly," she murmured.
And Mark added sarcastically, "And I wish you were a stacked she-hulk like that statue."
As the pair left, they both failed to notice the glow emenanting from the statue.
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