Suddenly, in the middle of the night, Cyrus was awoken by the foul stench of rotten cheese. Once the smell had hit his nose, Cyrus quickly sat up, placing both hands over his mouth.
"Ugggh, what the--?!" Cyrus muffled. "Geez, what is that awful odor...?"
As Cyrus' gaze darted around his room for a sign of wherever the smell could be originating from, he could not find anything initially. It was only on a second go-around that he spotted a round, fat rat that had placed itself atop the window sill.
"Oh great..." Cyrus muttered. "Now the castle has a rat problem."
In response, the rat stood up on its hind legs and patted its large stomach. It then spoke, saying, "Not just any rat problem, mister! A farting rat problem, heheh!"
Brrrrrrpppppphhhh...
The rat then released a fart.
Cyrus' eyes widened in both surprise and disgust.
A... A talking rat?! he thought. I... I must be--
"And look, before ya say anything else," the rat interrupted, "ya ain't dreaming - I'm here, I'm talkin' to ya, and you just got a nice whiff of what's been brewing for the past couple hours, heheh!"
"Whuh... H-How can you even speak...?" Cyrus asked, befuddled.
"Wow, what an original question - honestly, you humans are so predictable."
Brrr-brrrpphh..
The rat farted again before it continued, "worst part is that I don't really have an answer for ya. I just woke up one day and was able to talk. Nothin' much to it than that."
Cyrus paused for a moment. "Then, how can you--?"
"Can you please move your hands out of the way of yer face?" The rat interrupted again. "I can barely even hear ya."
Cyrus became annoyed quickly. "Depends," he snarked, "will you be willing to keep your gas to yourself long enough for me to be able top catch my breath?"
"Heheh, what, ya want me to stop fartin' so much?"
Cyrus just nodded. The rat then replied, "Alright, fine... I'll try my best. Feeling bloated enough as is, y'know."
"Thank you..." Cyrus said before moving his hands away from his mouth. "Now then... you can talk, and... you're rather flatulent... how, exactly?"
"Well, y'see," the rat started, "there was this great big cheese wheel in the kitchen, and I just had to have some it! Cheddar too, my favorite. Had me half of that thing before I got too full - ya can never have too much cheese, but my belly don't always agree. Now my butt's having a hard time shutting its trap."
Brrrrppppphhtt...
Cyrus waved his hand in front of his face as the rat just laughed. "Yeah, it's been nothing but that for the past three hours! Honestly, feels great - I could pump gas like that all day long, I tell ya, heheh!"
"I thought I asked you to stop..." Cyrus groaned.
"Dude, you ever try and hold in a fart for too long? All that pressure build-up does a number on your ass! Besides, I'm packing a lot of gas tonight on account of that cheese wheel, heheh! So I might as well let it rip!"
Brrr-brrrppp-braap!
"Ahhh, that's the ticket right there!" the rat exclaimed.
Cyrus pinched his nostrils shut as he spoke. "If you're going to do that, can you please take it somewhere else? I'm trying to sleep, and frankly, I've had enough of smelling farts for one day, let alone from a... talking rat..."
"Geez, such a party pooper," the rat said as it rolled its eyes. "And here I was trying to be nice and introduce myself to ya!"
"Do you usually introduce yourself by stinking up the room?" Cyrus said sarcastically.
"Not always," the rat answered back, also sarcastically. "I just felt like you clearly wanted to get a sniff of my scent, since you seemed so eager to take it from the princess earlier, heheh!"
"Y-You saw that...?" Cyrus questioned.
"You bet your butt I did! That girl's been a laugh riot for the last couple days, heheh! Every time some new sucker came in looking for a job, she would give them a nice dose of her backside blowouts, heheh!"
Goodness, and I thought the PRINCESS was vulgar, Cyrus thought. Then again, I am speaking to a RAT...
"Then I see you, face-to-ass with the girly, and after what she did to you, you come right back and just start hanging out here? Somethin' tells me you like that sorta thing, heheh!"
Cyrus stood up from his bed, nose still pinched. "I-I do not! I'm not some deviant, you know!"
"Yeah yeah, just like you told the Queen too, right? Heheh!"
Cyrus paused. "Wait, you saw me with the Queen as well? ...How long have you been keeping watch of me?"
The rat then laid on its back before farting once more.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrppp...
"Ehhh, not as long as you're thinking, das for sure. I totally thought after your schpeel with Her Fartiness, you'd just hightail it back home, wherever you came from. You were just tryna be nice about it by saying you'd 'attend to the Princess,' or whatevuh."
Brrrppphh...
"But hey, lookit ya now!" the rat continued. "You're the first one to actually accept the offer - gotta say, that alone made me cruious about ya."
"So... So, you've just been waiting to talk to me? Alone?" Cyrus asked.
"'Course! Y'see buddy, I've seen plenty of humans come in-and-out of this castle, and they're all just a bunch of boring royal snobs, or stick-up-their-asses guards. Only fun one around her is that princess girl, and only because her farts are wicked, heheh!"
How long has this rat been hiding out in this castle, exactly? Cyrus thought.
"Anyway, now that we're officially pals, the name's--"
BRRRRRPPP!
"Whoa, heheh! That was a big one!"
"Ugh, are you even trying to hold it in," Cyrus moaned.
"Not the point," said the rat. "Anyway, the name's Rodnee. And yer name is, uh, Cyrus, ain't it?"
"Yes, it is..." Cyrus said, clearly annoyed. "Now, did you just mean to keep me up with your odor all night, or did you have something else you wanted to share?"
"Ooof, tough crowd here, heheh!" Rodnee chortled. "But yer right, I've praddled and farted enough. Here's the deal: you're gonna be here for a while, right?"
Cyrus nodded.
"Good. So, ya might as well know the skinny on what exactly is up with da Queen, and her meetin's..."
Cyrus was a little shocked. This rat was eavesdropping on the Queen?
"Those are private matters," Cyrus asserted. "None of my business. Precisely why I told her that I was not interested."
"Ahhh, but she was most certainly interested in you!" Rodnee replied. "Das exactly why she went up ta talk to ya in the first place!"
"She told me that she was just impressed with my work etiquette."
"Sure, did... buuuuutt..."
Rodnee than sat up. "She was also hoping you'd be a part of her little plan."
Plan? Cyrus thought. "W-What plan?"
"She wants ya to keep an eye on that tooty princess, right? Well, there's a reason for that - guess some guys from another kingdom got to talkin' to her, and they were rather fascinated by that little farty power she's got."
"No, that's not possible," Cyrus replied. "It's a secret to everyone outside these castle walls."
"And you'd be right!" Rodnee said as he pointed at Cyrus. "But Her Gassiness herself spilled the beans on the whole thing - she's hoping those other kingdom humans will help her in breaking the curse. And since you seem to be the only one able to tolerate all this fartin' they've got going on--"
Brrrrrrrppp...
"--she thought you would be a perfect fit! Heck, she might even still try'n get ya to be a part of it!"
"But, how could I even begin to help break the curse?" Cyrus asked. "I'm not even sure what the cause of it even is."
"Her Flatulence seems to know, das for sure," Rodnee said.
Cyrus, nose still very much pinched, stood and thought about what Rodnee told him, and compared it to what Andaret said earlier in regards to the origin of the curse. While Andaret may not have the full picture exactly, upon further reflection, there was no reason why the Queen wouldn't. But then that lead to the question of why she wasn't able to break the curse before. After all, all curses have a way to break them - it is the law of such a magic.
"Well then, what's so important about me that I'd be a part of this plan at all?" Cyrus asked.
"Heheh, that's the juiciest part!" Rodnee chuckled. "Cyrus, ol' buddy, ol' pal... assuming you go along with it, you're more crucial to breakin' da curse than you could even imagine. From what I heard Her Windyness sayin', you're actually--"
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