"In my most humble opinion, Princess," Cyrus answered, "I would personally call your display a powerful show of force."
Andaret stifled a laugh. "Is this your nice way of saying I came off rather strong, then?"
"Uhm..."
I suppose, in a way, that's correct, Cyrus thought.
"I-Indeed, Princess. A blessing you may see it, but you can still have too much of a good thing, after all."
Andaret began to chuckle. "My my, Sir Merrifall! You have quite the way with words!"
Andaret leaned to one side in her seat, and let out a rather large fart.
BRRRRRRRrrrrrpppptt!
Cyrus' eyes widened slightly at the Princess.
"Don't misunderstand, I'm fully aware how much you are dancing around what you actually want to say," she added. "As my personal subject, honesty is a policy you are to uphold. After all, have I not been honest with you?"
Cyrus let out a sigh. "I am not lying, Your Highness."
"Nor did I say you were," Andaret replied sharply. "And even if I were, most lies still have a hint of truth to them, do they not?"
Well... she's got me there...
"Clearly, you do not see my flatulence as a blessing," Andaret continued. "If not a blessing, then what do you see it as?"
Cyrus could hear the expecting tone in her voice - it was as if she was daring Cyrus to say "I find you repulsive!"
Don't let her egg you on, Cyrus. You can do this.
"A-Apologies, Princess... very well, I... I found your act rather unsavory."
"And what act would that be?"
"...F-Farting in my face," Cyrus replied.
"And there it is," Andaret said proudly. "Yet another guard who cannot handle my own farts. If you can't put up with that, then you either better get used to it, or consider finding another job to--"
"If I may, Princess," Cyrus interrupted.
Andaret was put off-guard. As royalty, she wasn't used to being cut off mid-sentence. Regardless, she allowed Cyrus to continue.
"I would like to clarify something. Your flatulence, on its own, did not bother me. Just the fact that you broke wind right in my face. I found it to be rather rude and immature of you."
Andaret stayed quiet, expecting more.
"I say this with as much sincerity as I can muster," he continued. "Fart or belch if you must, but I would at the very least like to be treated with some decency. I-If this blessing of yours is a part of you, far be it my position to judge you for it. I take no issue with that, just your actions with said blessing."
Andaret stayed quiet a bit longer. She then said in response, "Hmm... well said, for once. Are those your actual honest feelings, Sir Merrifall?"
"If I am to be your personal subject, honesty is a policy, is it not?" Cyrus replied with a honest look.
Andaret smiled softly. "Hmph. So, you were listening after all..."
Cyrus said nothing, though his eyebrow raised slightly.
Andaret then stood up from her throne, and walked up to Cyrus. As she stood right in front of him, she looked slightly to meet his gaze. A few silent seconds passed by, before Andaret poked her rear end slightly, and pushed out another, much quieter fart.
Brrrrrppphhhh...
Cyrus' eyebrows shot up, as he resisted the urge to reflectively cover his nose in front of the Princess.
"So then, you take no issue with that?" she said with a smirk.
"U-Uh..." Cyrus stammered, "not at all. Though, perhaps only the smell..."
Andaret chuckled. "Yeah, that is to be expected. If the stench is truly too much, you may clear or block the smell however you wish - a pinch of the nose or wave of the hand doesn't bother me any."
"Y-You're certain?"
"Positively."
Cyrus then waved his hand in front of his face and wave slowly, as Andaret's smirk become an earnest smile.
"Perhaps you are right, Sir Cyrus Merrifall," Andaret added. "I shall admit that, yes, I came off rather strong. And for that, I apologize."
Andaret then stepped away from Cyrus and gave a small bow. Cyrus returned the favor.
As the two stood straight back up, Andaret continued, "Not that this exactly excuses it any, but what I did was something of a test."
"A test?"
"Indeed. See, I'm sure you could guess that you are not the first one to be among my personal guards. Far from the first, in fact. Not that this was my idea - my mother, Queen Stefanianna, was rather insistent that I have myself a 'personal subject.' Though, she might as well say what she means: babysitter."
It was Cyrus' turn to stay silent as Andaret spoke.
"So, I did not want one, and I made that adamantly clear. Then, I saw an opportunity to make this whole process... fun. If my mother insists on giving me some random babysitter, it was going to be on the condition that they were willing to put up with my gas."
"Comes with the job, then," Cyrus added.
"Indeed," Andaret answered. "It is my blessing, after all - they're a packaged deal! And if my babysitter could not handle that, then they were not going to do me any good. So, each potential guard before you had to know what to expect right away. Needless to say, they found it rather unappealing."
"Did you make them all acquainted with your backside?" Cyrus asked in a sour tone.
Andaret laughed. "Pffft, not at all! That privilege goes to you, Sir Merrifall! I'll be the first to admit that by the time you had come around, I was getting more... extreme in my showing of my rather fabulous farting~"
The tone in her voice when she said that made it clearer than ever to Cyrus - Andaret was not just shameless of her farts, but instead incredibly proud of them. Very much the opposite of Queen Stefanianna.
"So then... I passed your test?" Cyrus asked, confused.
"Very much so! You actually passed it as soon as you came back at all - you are the first to ever do so, in fact! That alone was enough to show me how willing you were to endure my gas. But, I'll admit, what you told me afterwards was what sealed the deal."
"What do you ask of me, Princess?" Cyrus asked earnestly.
"For today? Nothing at all - consider this your first day on the job done and over with. After all, you had to get up close and personal with my butt, so it's fair that you get a break!" she said with a laugh.
Cyrus was still put off, but surprisingly pleased as well.
This "princess" acts like anything but, he thought. She is immensely crude - no girl I have ever met has been quite this vulgar. Though... it seems that we have at least reached a sort of understanding. Hopefully that makes this job more tolerable.
"Ah, that's right," Andaret said, "you may not have been shown your room. How about this: your final task of the day will be to accompany me as I take you there myself."
"Yes, Your Highness," he said with a bow.
"Pffft, no need to be so formal, Sir Merrifall," Andaret said. "after today, formalities are not exactly required."
"Fair enough, I suppose. If that is the case, you may simply refer to me as Cyrus."
"Andaret. Nice to officially make your acquaintance, Cyrus." Andaret extended her hand.
Cyrus extended his in turn, and as the two shook hands, small smiles crossed both of their faces.
"Now, walk alongside me," Andaret replied. "I wouldn't want you walking behind me, after all."
"Uh, right, of course," Cyrus answered.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------
BRRRRRrrrrrrapppp!
The sound of Andaret's farts echoed slightly down the halls of the castle. She had farted a total of three times now since their trek to Cyrus' room in the castle.
Not even so much as an "excuse me..." Cyrus thought.
"Is it uncomfortable?" he asked.
"What, my flatulence? Hmmm... not really, no. At most, I just feel... full, for lack of a better term."
"At all times?"
"Nearly all times - depends on both time of day, and what meals I've had. I actually fart a lot more in my sleep."
"Sounds... relaxing?"
"It actually feels rather nice!"
Cyrus couldn't help but feel awkward. This was perhaps one of the most surreal experiences he has ever had in his life. This was not at all a topic of conversation he was used to - let alone with a girl, let alone with the Princess herself.
"While I am sleeping, I simply do not have control over my flatulence. I don't have to hold it in, so there's no need to worry," Andaret added.
"Is it... easy to hold them in?" Cyrus asked.
"For the most part, yeah! Though, it's not without some challenges - bigger farts are harder to keep in."
"I'm... surprised you have control over them at all."
"Understandable," Andaret giggled. "But, it is my blessing, after all, so it is to be expected."
Cyrus and Andaret then walked in silence for a few more moments. The terms "blessing" and "curse" circled Cyrus' mind.
I wonder why she feels so differently about her gas than the Queen does, he thought. She even calls it a "blessing," not a "curse." Is she not aware that it is a curse at all? Why would she not think so? Clearly there is a difference in perception here.
The two then arrived at the door to Cyrus' room.
"Here you are," Andaret said. "These will be your living quarters for the time being."
"I see... thank you," Cyrus nodded. "Uhm... Princess, may I ask you one last question?"
"Of course, Cyrus," Andaret answered. "What is on your mind?"
"Why do you keep calling your flatulence a blessing, exactly?"
There was a brief silence.
"I suppose you might as well know - I've talked this much about it after all. You see--"
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