"Allow me to tell all, my tiny friend!" Augustus said to Cyrus. "You see, I think I may have an answer here - but first, I must asked each of these fine young women a question." All the girl's started to blush. Wow, Cyrus thought to himself. It's true what they say about Augustus Leaffall - really CAN make any woman swoon. Even the Guildmaster!
"Do any of you remember what you did that made yourself all so... windy, shall we say?" Augustus asked all three girls at once. There was a few moments of silence, as each of the girls struggled to find an answer. Augustus clarified, "It is alright if you do not know - in fact, if you do not remember what caused your flatulence, then that itself is the answer!" The rest of the group looked at Augustus, confused. "What do you mean by that?" Sarah asked. Augustus winked back at her and said "Don't worry," in a sly tone. "Just give me your honest answers." Sarah blushed some more, before she gave her answer. "Well... I've always been pretty gassy - I'm a Wind Elf, you see, we all tend to be pretty gassy." Augustus stepped towards Sarah and replied, "Ah yes - A Wind Elf. I should have guessed by your lovely, pale green eyes, miss...?" Sarah responded, "M-My name is Sarah... and, thank you." Augustus smiled and said, "Sarah... a lovely name for a lovely girl. Tell me Sarah, do you typically ask someone to walk into your ass after you have shrunk them down?" Sarah shook her head vigorously and said, "N-No, not at all! I mean, at most, I just blame someone else for my farts, I would normally never ask anybody to do that - especially not Cyrus, I've known him ever since he started working here!"
"So then how did you come to the conclusion that this would be a fine prank to pull on one of your co-workers?" Augustus asked directly. Sarah replied, "I... I don't know. I think I may be somewhat drunk - I had a lot of ale last night, y'see." Augustus smiled handsomely and said back at Sarah, "A drinking girl, huh? A woman after my own heart - am I to assume that this is your beer belly, then?" Sarah giggled and said, "No, this is just.. this is just me, heh." Augustus responded, "Do you often drink, Miss Sarah?" Sarah nodded and said, "Yes - the others don't. The Guildmaster drinks on occasion, sure, but not as often as I do. And Millie never drank a drop of alcohol in her life." Augustus turned his gaze to the other two and asked, "Is that true, you two?" Both Millie and Allison nodded simultaneously, and Allison added, "Not a word of lie."
Augustus then proudly smirked as he took a step back from Sarah and stated, "And yet, you all behaved the way... curious." Cyrus intervened, "So, do you know what's up?" Augustus looked down at the tiny Cyrus and assured with gusto, "Indeed I do! You see, you fine young women have had a curse placed on you - The Curse of the Foul Smell Spell!"
Cyrus' eyebrow raised high. "The.. Foul Smell Spell? Sounds like you made that up," he said bluntly. Augustus quickly replied, "No, not at all! I have seen this happen before, to men and women alike all across Epula! Allow me to elaborate."
Augustus stood up straight and adjusted his large red hat, before continuing, "There is a curse that befalls you at the unlikeliest of times - times where you're at your most vulnerable. For most, this is when they sound asleep, but for others, it may be whilst drinking a fine mug of ale, or mindlessly attending to a task. Regardless," he shouted, "it is at that time that they are hit with an odd wind. They do not notice it, nor do they ever remember this wind, but it hit them all the same. Some time after this happens, they find themselves obsessed with only two things - their derrieres, and their flatulence!"
Millie spoke up, "But, we're not obsessed - this was the only time we've done anything like this!" Augustus pointed at Millie and said, "And I do not doubt that, m'lady! But, that is only how it starts - an odd thought or two that goes a little out of hand. But, give it enough time, and soon your mind will be all but consumed by wicked, perverse thoughts - this curse is a curse of the body, yes, but mainly a curse of the mind as well." Allison asked, "Curse of the body?" Augustus pointed at Allison before saying, "That's right! Your body's produce more gas as a result of this curse, which only drives your mind further down the road of thinking up stranger and stranger fantasies - it is most likely why she," he said as he shifted his point to Sarah, "is even more flatulent than she otherwise would be." Cyrus added, "I was gonna say, you fart a lot, Sarah, but not this much." Sarah looked down at Cyrus and replied, "Really? Huh... I guess I never noticed."
"So that's it, then," Cyrus exclaimed. "It was a curse that made them all act so weird - y'know, as much as it's hard to say, that... that makes sense to me." A moment of silence passed as Cyrus and the girls took in what Augustus had told them. Millie then piped up, "S-So, how long do we have until we're completely enveloped by the curse?" Augustus replied by asking, "Depends - little fellow, were these girls like this when you had left this guild today?" Cyrus said plainly, "No, not at all."
"My guess then," Augustus speculated, "about a week, give or take a day, depending on how each of you resist the curse's effects - you'll only become more flatulent, and more deviant as the sand drips down the hourglass." All three girls shouted in unison, "A week?!" Augustus laughed and exclaimed, "Never fear, ladies - that is more than enough time for me to be on my way and to find a way to break this curse that has been placed upon you!"
"You already know how to deal with this?" Cyrus asked. "Why of course," Augustus replied. "Were you not paying attention to what I had said? I have seen this before! I have been able to save those that were cursed many times." Cyrus raised an eyebrow once again and said, "Then, how do you know what the spell does once the time is up?" Augustus was surprised. "Hmm?" he hummed. Cyrus replied, "You said that the curse takes full effect once about a week has passed - how would you know that if you have saved those people you mentioned?" Augustus was impressed. "Well," he said with a smile,"you were paying attention, I see - brilliant question, lad! You see, despite what you may have heard about me, I never once claimed to be perfect... there are some adventures that do not end well, sadly. The first time I had heard about this, it happened to a young man - looked about your age, actually - who I could not help. Because of the Foul Smell Spell, his lady left him, and he was miserable ever since... it was that failure that drove me to try and save as many of those that were effected as possible!"
The girls were moved by Augustus' speech, clasping their hands while passing gas at the same time.
BRRRRRRRRRT!
Brp!
Brrrrr-Brrrrraaaaap!
Cyrus just stood there and rolled his eyes.
"Now then," Augustus said, "young lad, would you care to join me on this expedition?" Cyrus was confused. "Huh?" he asked. "Why me?" Augustus knelt down and said, "Well, because adventure is always better with a companion in tow! Besides, given your state, what else could you be doing?"
Cyrus gave Augustus' words some thought. He's not WRONG - after I was forced to drink that potion, I've now shrunken down to an incredibly tiny size. After everything that's happened here and at the castle, I need something to help me get away from all this crazy flatulence nonsense! Wait... the castle, of course! I had completely forgotten - I am bound by contractual obligation to serve as Princess Andaret's bodyguard! That means I'll just have to put up with her ass again... unless, I don't HAVE to do it. If I go with Augustus and help break the curse, I'll be a hero to the Guild. Yeah, the girls all get the curse lifted off them, and the other guildmates won't have to suffer their stench! Allison'll HAVE to let the contract be swept under the rug... but, if she doesn't, then if i go with Augustus and NOT back to the castle, then I'll never work at the Guild again... this is tough. What should I do?
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