Just then, a thin glittery purple phone on Rebecca's dresser started playing a Lady Gaga song Ronald was unfamiliar with.
Tearing his eyes away from his angelic new reflection in the mirror, Ronald picked up the phone and answered.
“Hello?” he said.
“You miserable toad!” came the familiar voice of an angry, teenage boy. “You stole my body. I want it back right now, or else!”
“Excuse me?” Ronald said, actually confused for a moment about who would be so angry with him. “Oh, wait – is this Rebecca Ward?”
“Of course I'm Rebecca!” she shouted with Ronald's voice. “You think you can steal my body and leave me trapped as a fat nerd? Oh, I'm going to make your life so miserable …”
“Calm down,” Ronald said. “I didn't do this on purpose. In fact, I don't think I did anything at all to cause this. It's as big a surprise to me as it seems to be to you. Believe me, I'd love to get back to my own body.”
“What are you talking about?” said Rebecca. She found it inconceivable that Ronald didn't want to remain in her body. She was beautiful, popular, and spoiled rotten by her rich parents. Ronald had to have done this on purpose. He was jealous of her and had wanted to steal her life … right?
“I said I didn't do this,” Ronald repeated calmly. “And if you'd like, I think we should cooperate and work together to find a way of reversing this.”
“You actually want to go back to your fat, loser nerd body?” Rebecca asked incredulously.
“Uh, yeah,” Ronald said. “I guess I do. Look, you're very pretty Rebecca … but … well, I don't really want to be a girl.”
Ronald laughed nervously.
“Okay,” Rebecca said suspiciously. “So what do we do to change back then, Mr. Braniac?”
“Well,” said Ronald. “In episode seventy-nine of Star Trek, Janice Lester uses an alien life-energy transfer procedure to steal Captain Kirk's body, and …”
“Oh my gawd!” groaned Rebecca. “I can't believe I'm listening to my own voice say all this creepy, nerd stuff!”
“I'm just trying to help,” Ronald said with an irritated edge to his voice.
“Then help!” sighed Rebecca. “Build a warp drive and beam us up back to normal, or whatever you nerds do.”
“First, in the show it was a life-energy transfer procedure, not a warp drive or transporter,” Ronald pointed out. “Second, I couldn't build a transporter, much less a functioning warp core, even if I wanted to! Which believe me, I'd love to be able to do. But some things are simply in the realm of science fiction rather than …”
“Shut up!” screamed Rebecca. “Look, can you switch us back or not?”
“Not at the moment,” answered Ronald. “But if we work together, I'm sure we can eventually find a way to reverse this.”
“This sucks!” yelled Rebecca. “Oh, and great. Now your mom is yelling at me to get dressed and go to school. I don't want to be you!”
“We'll talk at school,” Ronald said, trying his best to calm down the melodramatic diva now inhabiting his body.
“You better find a way to give me back my body!” shouted Rebecca one last time, before hanging up the phone.
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