'Think, Henry,' Hank told himself sternly. ' You need to take stock of the situation. Fact 1: You're in another universe. Fact 2,' His stomach let out a long, rumbling whine or hunger and he grimaced.
'Fact 2,' he thought wryly, 'I was so caught up in my experiment I skipped breakfast and lunch.'
His stomach let out a shorter, almost grumpy sounding whine, as if saying 'I know, you fool!'
He gave it an idle rub, eyes drawn to the strange plants around him. More specifically, to the bundle of twinkled where a sheaf of wheat should be. Twinkies were his favorite indulgence, and being surrounded by then while his stomach repeatedly complained of its current emptiness was proving rather...tempting, and he found himself leaning in for a closer look.
It was extraordinary! The twinkies were, indeed, growing from the stalk of wheat! He could see a stem at the bottom of each twinkie that connected it to the larger stalk, and rich caramel-colored leaves were growing up around the twinkies almost like wrappers, bundling them together like a bouquet of candy. Actually...
Hank leaned a little closer amd took a cautious sniff. The leaves weren't merely the color of caramel, they also smelled like caramel. In fact, he was almost certain that...
Carefully he tore off the edge of one leaf and hesitantly put it into his mouth. The moment he did, his eyes went wide. It was caramel! What’s more, it was the most delicious caramel Hank had ever tasted! He moved to tear off the rest of the leaf, and then halted as his eye fell on the twinkies nestled in the cradle of caramel leaves.
’If the caramel is so delicious,’ he thought to himself, ’then are the twinkies equally as good?’ Fingers trembling in anticipation, he reached out and gripped one of the twinkies, gently pulling until it snapped free of the stem. He absently noticed that as soon as it broke free what little stem remained crumbled away, leaving a twinkie that looked for all the world as though it was fresh from the wrapper in his hand.
’It’s not because it’s my favorite treat,’ he rationalized, ’it’s for science!’ And without further delay he opened his mouth and took a bite.
If Hank could have seen himself from an outside point of view in that moment, he would have seen himself freeze in place as his eyes shrank to pinpricks.
(He would also have blushed like a schoolgirl at the near orgasmic sounding moan of delight that escape his lips.)
Hank wouldn’t take that outside view for the world, though, becausing seeing himself would mean he wasn’t himself. And if he wasn’t himself, that would mean he wasn’t the one tasting what was simply the most delicious twinkie Hank had ever eaten. And Hank had eaten many twinkies in his time.
He shoved the rest of the treat into his mouth on autopilot, desperate for more of the spongy cake and rich, creamy goodness. No sooner had he swallowed then he was plucking another from the main stalk and shoving it into his eager maw without wasting time on individual bites. Somehow, the second tasted even better than the first. Like a man possessed, he reached out and grabbed two twinkies at once, shoving them into his mouth simultaneously, moaning in delight as they proved just as good as the ones that had come before.
Hank’s stomach rumbled eagerly even as the pastries took up residence inside it, demanding more. There was a reason Hank was so careful not to miss meals, after all: His bestial instincts tended to rear up when he was hungry, and he became more than a little feral until he’d had his fill, and more besides. Surrounded by his favorite snack, it was unlikely to be satisfied until it was full nearly to bursting.
Hank decided he was more than willing to test that particular hypothesis, and fell upon the twinkies like a farmer swinging a scythe.
'Or, perhaps more appropriately, he reflected in amusement, like cookie monster in a keebler factory.'
He didn't think about much of anything, after that, other than the taste of cream and pastry as he devoured every twinkie within reach with wild abandon.
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