After his head stops spinning, Josh tries to recollect where he is and what's going on. His head throbs a bit from the disorientation.
"I hate being such a good person sometimes..." he groans. "All this for a stupid date? Ugh..."
The tiny tries to move forward to the next nose hair. But he can't. His feet are embedded deep into a mound of mucus. Josh takes a steady breath, trying to remain calm. He struggles with all his might to pull himself free...
Only to fall flat on his back into more of the sticky substance.
Josh tries his best to get up but his hands are stuck to the floor of Matt's nasal cavity. He struggles but cannot move. So, he resorts to his only real option.
"MAAAAAAAT!!" He screams. "GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
...but no response comes.
"MATT? MATT! DUDE, HELP ME!!"
...and again, nothing happens.
Desperate, Josh tries to wiggle free once more. But his struggling backfires, and he starts to sink more and more into the mucus like quicksand. Matt's nose was starting to perceive Josh as a piece of dirt. So naturally, it did what it had to do to prevent the surfer bro's body from infection. The snot started to cover more and more of Josh's body, trapping him and submerging him. Josh became encased in the gross slime of Matt's nose until only his head peaked above the surface.
Understandably, Josh was panicking. If he became stuck in a booger, he'd run out of air. His only hope was Matt. His fate rested in his employee. Hopefully the surfer would be able to see what's right under his nose, right?
====
====
====
Matt's TikTok feed had been particularly funny today. As he sat and waited for Josh to finish his job, he had seen quite a few videos that made him chuckle. But he was committed to not inhaling or exhaling too much through his nose so that his boss would be safe. Laugh too hard and Josh would probably be sent hurtling into Matt's stomach. And he did NOT wanna have to throw up his boss before his big date. Speaking of his boss...was Josh nearly done yet? How long had he been in there? Matt checked the time on his phone.
20 minutes.
Matt had been scrolling on his phone for over 20 minutes.
Immediately, Matt's adrenaline spiked up. How could he have been this careless? With this much time passed, he knew one thing immediately:
He was gonna be late for his date if he didn't get zooming.
As Matt ran out of the break room to get ready to leave, he could feel his heart rate increasing. He took breaths in and out of his nose as he picked up the pace. He grabbed his bag, his change of clothes, all the while getting more worked up until:
"Oh shit WAIT. JOSH!" Matt realized.
Matt nearly slammed open the bathroom door to look at himself in the mirror. After a brief inspection of his face, he sighed in relief.
"No nose hairs. Nice." he said, checking himself out. "But I got to get Josh out of there before I'm too late!"
Then the stud paused. He felt a premonition. He quickly inhaled through his nose, involuntarily. Then did it again. His face contorted into a closed eye frown and suddenly let out a fat sneeze.
ACHOO!
Matt's nose expelled a volley of particles from his nasal cavity. The heavier mucus hit the sink and traveled down the drain faster than Matt could even process, while the lighter particles floated in the air. Matt shook his head, recovering from the sneeze. Thinking about the fastest way to get Josh out of his nose, he grabbed some toilet paper and brought it up to his nostrils. The giant took a deep breath in and blew hard into the paper.
Matt looked down at the paper in his hand in disgust. But in the muck, he spotted Josh's tiny body. He looked like he was in a fetal position. "Ugh...ew. Sorry about that, Josh. But thanks a lot for the help, boss!"
Matt then took a better look at the damp tissue in his hand. Specifically, the glob of booger lodged within it.
"...boss?" He asked, a little concerned.
Matt examined the mess of snot closer. He saw that Josh was definitely trapped within it.
But he also saw that he wasn't moving. Or breathing.
Josh had become the first human booger in history. But he would run out of air before he could tell the tale.
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