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Chapter #4
One Mean Holstein
by: Unknown
You look up in horror and see Christine, that ornery black and white cow who never liked you. She was six feet high, meaning she was over five hundred and seventy times bigger than you at your size. You shake as she looks down and lowers her head before snorting, creating a hurricane that blows you screaming out the barn door. You cough and get up and Christine walks forward, showing her city sized nose as she points it to you and shows you her skyscraper sized teeth.
"I don't like how y'all been calling me a black and white ball of lard. Especially since I'm the most beautiful heifer in this barn. Yet they still favor that Jersey girl Lily and that ditzy Ayshire Rebecca." You grunt and cough. "You're not beautiful. You're downright mean. Every time someone tries to milk you, you act up. You even kicked my dad. Wait, what's going on. Why are you so big? Why are all humans so small? Why are you talking?" Christine lets out a mooing laugh. "The age is humans is over. You see, I heard from a sheep friend of mine that a virus swept over the world and well, it's shrinking every organism on the planet. But for some reason, us cows are immune. You look around to see a horse the size of an ant ran by Christine's hoof and then see several birds fly down but they're the size of mosquitos as Rebecca in back swatted them away from her with her tail.
You couldn't believe it. Christine laughs loudly. "Yep. Cows rule and now we can speak to you humans, or bugs as I should call you. You'll be worshipping us. Or rather everyone but you will." "Wh-What do you mean?" Christine lowers her head and sticks out her tongue as she gives a menacing look. "I heard you and your folks talking about sending me to the slaughterhouse. I think I'll show you what it's like to be on the other side of the mouth. I'm gonna eat you."
You scream and run as Christine bites and almost puts you in her mouth. You run for it as Christine moos and gives chase. "Come back her you little viddle!" Christine bites and almost gets you as you scream. "But cows don't eat people!" "True," says Christine as she licks her lips. "But I want to. Don't worry, I've got four stomachs for you to run around in." You keep screaming and running as this big black and white bovine behemoth tries to eat you. But can you escape before Christine the Holstein has you for lunch?
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