Yatsi rammed his weight against the door so as not to let it open. NO! Not NOW of all times. He couldn't let anyone see him like this! Dammit.
If he had any misgivings about magic, then they were completely misspelled by now: he was officially a true believer of whatever the hell kind of powers the Mark possessed. On one side he was ecstatic: it worked! It bloody worked! He had transformed, shapeshifted; just as his grandfather had foretold. This was amazing!
On the other hand he was seriously peeved. I mean what the f###?! Why did he have to go turn into a blasted GIRL of all things?? This is NOT what he had in mind when he tried to discover the secrets of the Mark. How the heck was he going to explain this everyone? Never mind that; how the heck was he going to turn back? He could still turn back right?! Right??!!
And now he was about to be discovered. Damn. Nevermind how he's supposed to convince anyone who he was, what would happen if they discovered an unknown person - a fricken girl of all things - in his room. Chuck him out?
The knocking continued and intensified: "Hey, open up. Seriously, this isn't funny any more! Answer me! Say something if you're naked or whatever. Hello?!" It was Tanja, she sounded desperate. Yatsi dared not answer in his new voice.
The door began to be pushed inwards. Snap! Yatsi was grievously weaker in this form; normally he would have easily won against the pixie-like Tanja when it came to mashing their strength against opposite ends of a door, but now she was steadily gaining leeway.
Oh no! Then the worst case scenario just got a great deal worse. In the struggle Yatsi's sleeping shorts fell off - his waist having shrunk to far more petite proportions had resulted in the baggy boxer not being able to hang on to his finer waistline anymore, thus exposing the entirety of his lower half. He stood there, helplessly hemmed against the door, clothed in only an ill-fitting shirt, his posterior visible for all the world.
The door kept grazing inwards.
Screw it! Yatsi thought, and chose the lesser of two evils. He let go of the door and grasped for his dropped boxers to pull them back on for the sake of dignity. And unfortunately, with nothing to resist it from opening, the door opened to reveal an angry looking Tanja.
----
"Finally! Jeesh! What was that all about! Yatsi, what's going in there...and woa...what the...who are you supposed to be, honey?" Tanja asked with barely contained disapproval: "You're not allowed in here! And...WHAT THE HECK ARE DOING WEARING YATSI'S CLOTHES? Please don't tell me this is what I think it is? Yatsi you pervert." she said in contempt.
Yatsi's crimson face would have made red roses look bleak in comparison; he tugged his shirt downwards to cover his midriff and had to use his remaining hand to keep his boxers from falling down. For the first time in his life he couldn't for the life of him think of something clever to say.
Tanja strided over to Yatsi and put her hands on her hips, glaring at the shamefaced cossack: "Well, honey? Did the cat catch your tongue or something? Speak up. You're in big trouble, missy. How'd you get in my house? And where is Yatsi. WELL?"
Perhaps he was an idiot; or maybe he merely sucked at lying, but right then Yatsi couldn't think of anything to say other than the truth: "I...I am Yatsi."
"Oh I'm not into that fetish, honey. So you can take your clothes and go right back to whatever whorehouse you came from. And you'll do so now if you don't want me to get the politsiya." Tanja said crossly.
Now that made Yatsi's string snap: "No you idiot." He truly sounded queer in his new squeaky voice: "I mean I AM Yatsi."
"And I'm Putin. Now get out." Tanja said, starting to pull Yatsi's arm to the door.
Growing desperate: "Wait! LISTEN TO ME! Will you just stop, comrade! I AM Yatsi. Do you see this mark on my hand? I just transformed into a girl! It's some kind of magic. Will you just listen to me, Tanja!" This did not bode well.
"How do you know my name? Forget the politsiya, I think I need to call the lunatic asylum. And WHERE IS Yatsi, you bitch?" It seemed Tanja would remain resolute in not believing him.
Options were becoming few and far between, so Yatsi said something he had promised Tanja never to say outloud: "Tanja, when you were 16, you made me promise never to tell anyone about Spoednikska, your dog which you had stolen from the pound because it had been maltreated. It died despite our efforts a week later. You were very sad about it for a long time."
Tanja stopped in her tracks as if flash-freezed. Expecting a kinder and warmer reaction from Tanja, Yatsi was sorely disappointed to received the mother of all slaps in the face. Tanja's eyes burned of molten fury.
"Yatsi you skunk! How could you betray me!" she shouted with tears in her eyes to the roof: "And you, you harlot, I can't believe he would say something so personal and private between ourselves to someone like you!" she spat.
A great. Talk about backfire, Yatsi thought as he rubbed his pained chin. Hell hath no fury like the girl whose most guarded secrets her best friend had squandered. It appeared Tanja still didn't believe he was Yatsi.
"Wait, wait!" Yatsi tried to prevent another hit: "September 13, 2004. You were drowning in the Krask lake. I pulled you from the broken ice. From then on you always had a phobia for lots of water. You said to me that day: 'Don't let me go again!' "
It seems this time Tanja was subdued. The silence of the night became overbearing as she gazed at Yatsi with eyes that were becoming steadily wider and wider in realization. She swallowed.
"Y-you, y-ou're Y-yatsi??"
"Yes! Yes!"
In a totally random act, without warning, she strode up to him, pulled open the hem of his shorts and eye'd the contents.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey! Where the heck are you looking!" WTF?? Yatsi grabbed his boxers back from Tanja and jumped back, his face flushed at the prospect of another girl staring at a new organ he himself had not had the courage to look upon.
Tanja's mouth was open and her jaw hanging: "But...how? You are Yatsi. But...you're a girl!!" Her eyes got a glassy glazed look in them.
"Thanks, I noticed." Yatsi said with dripping sarcasm.
"Were you always a girl?" she asked with astonishment.
"No. Only for the last 3 minutes." he asnwered.
"You ARE Yatsi." she declared: "Only he's that much of a smartass."
"Thanks. I think."
"But-but-but...HOW? What?" she asked.
"That's gonna take a while to explain." Yatsi said, relieved that he wasn't about to spend time getting thrown out of the house and shivering in the snow.
Tanja suddenly looked horrified: "Oh no. I had said all those horrible things about you. I called you a harlot...and-and-"
"Nevermind. I've had worse. I'm only grateful you actually believed me." Yatsi said.
An awkward silence befell between them. Neither knew what to say next.
"So..." said Tanja, with a quizzical expression: "...I didn't know they had sex-change operations that went that fast. Not that I'm judging." she said hurriedly, with her palms upward.
"That's not even remotely funny. I didn't ask for this."
"Was it aliens then?" Tanja could have a real weird sense of humour at times, Yatsi reflected.
"Please Tanja..."
"Oh I know. It was-"
"Tanja! Listen!" He explained for the next 10 minutes everything that had happened from the moment Kohler had given him the box to the point where the Mark had embedded itself into his left hand to the point where he was standing before her as a girl.
"So...you don't know why this happened?" Tanja asked, as she rubbed the scars of the Mark which was still present on Yatsi's feminized left hand.
"I know WHY it happened and HOW it happened. I just don't know why I turned into a girl of all things. I haven't figured out how the Shapeshifting actually works. You can't tell anyone about this, you hear?"
"Well...you can't stay in here. And you can't stay dressed like that." Tanja said.
"What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?"
Tanja pulled her mouth to the side and raised an eyebrow.
"Never mind."
Tanja took Yatsi silently with her. They easily passed Tesla's room without harassment. His laborious epic snoring announced to all within 3 blocks that he was still sleeping like a rock (and snoring like an avalanche).
"Can you turn back? Are you stuck like this?" Tanja asked Yatsi once they were in her room and it safely locked.
"For the next day. I can't undo a shapeshifting for another 24 hours."
Tanja smiled slyly at him.
"What's so amusing?"
Tanja ignored him as she dug in her closet for a pair of extra PJ's.
"Here. You look like an idiot. More than usual I mean. Wear this till we can figure something out for tomorrow ." She yawned: "You know birthday-boy, you really are taking your toll on my beauty sleep."
"What about Tesla? What if he sees me?" Yatsi asked.
"You should have thought of that before you went for the sex-change operation, comrade." Tanja smirked.
"Har Har."
"We'll just tell him you're some lost cousin or whatever that's visiting. Tesla's pretty dim once you get to know him well." Tanja said. "Hopefully before he realizes what's up, you'll be back your ugly self."
Tanja made Yatsi a bed on a spare mattress and sleeping bag. After discussing the bizarre events of the day and Yatsi's transformation, and how they would deal with it the following day, they both signed off for sleep.
Despite his alien body and his irrational apprehension of touching any of the girl parts that weren't there an hour before, Yatsi found himself drifting to the dreamworld once more.
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