He was right. Righter than he had any right to be. She wouldn’t look directly at him though; instead she stared at his reflection in the window.
“Look, just come and talk to them”.
“We have nothing to talk about”. She spat.
The words stung even as she spoke. It was a lie. They both knew it.
A few minutes of silence passed, and then Ray spoke again, trying a different tactic.
“You’re killing her”.
“Good. Fair is fair”. The lack of tone in her own voice surprised her, as if she didn’t care. She had cared. Too much in those early days, when her anger was hot and she had furiously swore to have nothing to do with any of them ever again. For weeks she fanned the coals of fury when ever they died down until the flames had burned white hot once again. But she had never been one for holding onto anger, she’d never had to, in her old life, and too soon the righteous fire of indignation had burned away, leaving only the cold ashes of regret. By that time she’d moved out of the apartment. And gotten into the habit of avoiding all the places they used to hang out. She stopped answering her phone, letting the voicemail take it until there was no room left, and then eventually letting the contract lapse until it had been disconnected. She told herself she didn’t care. The problem was, she still did. She could only lie to herself for so long.
“She misses you. We all miss you”.
And there it was. In truth, she missed them as well, probably as much if not more. She missed the good times. She missed the easy comradely they had shared. She missed just having someone to talk to who wasn’t trying to sell her something, or get into her pants.
She sat, staring at the drizzle running down the window, not really seeing the wet street in front of her. Abruptly, she turned and looked at the man sitting beside her. The cold window reflection really didn’t do the real thing justice. The shock of reddish coloured hair. The deep blue eyes. The firm chin. The wry grin. It was a look she had intentionally cultivated; one that used to drive the girls crazy, a lifetime ago. The new Ray wore the look as naturally as if he’d been born with it, instead of having it foisted on him. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to resent how he looked. It wasn’t his fault. It was Kayla’s. No, that wasn’t right either. Blaming Kayla was more from habit at this point, a habit born of that part of her anger had burned out long ago, leaving only the ghosts of words that no longer had any substance.
Ray looked into her eyes, a serious expression on his face. “What you’re doing. Is it to punish her? It’s wrong. You’re punishing yourself to punish her and that’s wrong”.
With a start she realized what he’d said was true. Sure she’d been hurt and betrayed, but she’d pushed it over the top. In her old life she had hated drama queens, and then went full melodrama at the first opportunity. It was time to stop.
Still she denied it, shaking her head. “I’m not doing this to punish her”.
Ray was not convinced. “Are you sure? Are you sure you’re not hurting yourself because you know how much it would hurt her? Don’t you realize that nothing you do will hurt her anymore than she already hurts herself”.
“I doubt that”.
“Really? ‘Cause if you’re interested you might like to know we’ve spent the last 6 months wondering where you were, what you were doing, if you were okay. There are nights she’s cried herself to sleep over what she’s done to you”.
“And of course you haven’t”?
“I’m a man now. I’m not supposed to cry. But when I hear her sometimes I do. And it hasn’t made things better”.
“Does it matter? We can’t go back”.
“Your right about that. We can never go back to what we were. But a wise man once told me it’s never to late to start again”.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
More by this author
