You'd recently been talking about dating apps with some friends when they mentioned one you hadn't heard of. It was called Splinter, they told you, and they claimed that it was the best one yet. You were skeptical of their claims but decided that there was no harm in giving it a shot.
After downloading it, you started swiping through some girls when you came upon one that caught your eye. She was a bombshell, even despite being a little goth looking for your taste, and as you swiped right on her you found yourself crossing your fingers for a match. Sure enough, just a few minutes later the notification pops up and hey, wouldn't you know it, she messaged you almost immediately. Sure, it was just the word "Hi" with a smiley emoji but it was more than you had expected. You decided to try out a pickup line, something funny but just risque enough to maybe make something happen for you.
"Are you an archaeologist? Because I have a large bone for you to examine."
"Wow... never heard that one before. You come up with that all on your own or did somebody help you?"
"Came up with it myself, just like this one: Hey girl, are you gasoline? Cause even though you're expensive I'd still pump you in my van"
"Fuck off, creep"
"But there's so many more where that came from"
"I said fuck off. Why don't guys get it?"
"Why don't you come over to my place and help me get it?"
The next reply was... well it didn't look like language. Or even text. Strange symbols popped up in the app's messenger and then the whole thing crashed. You figured it was just a bug, so you loaded the app back up and got back to swiping.
Unbeknownst to you, the girl had put a curse on you. Now, not only would you gain the prominent attributes of the girls you hit on, but also:
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