Holy shit holy shit holy shit-- Your mind races. You've transformed into a beautiful, stacked girl! All the foreign sensations that come with swapping genders, abruptly and wholly, attack you in that moment. The bikini straps dig into your back, into your ass--why a thong, of all swimwear!?--your bikini hugs a patch of hair that replaced your penis, a smooth region that needs filling, it needs something more, your old male friend. Your breasts, the humongo-gonzas that stuck out (a-ha) so immediately keep sticking out. The more you notice them, the more alien they feel. How do they hold to your body with such thin, connecting tissue without popping off? And then the wider hips, the thinner waist, the baby cheeks and fuller lips, your longer hair, soprano voice (you've said nothing yet, but muttering worried nonsense, you can tell how high you could belt a song)... even your feet, hands, arms, legs, where there should be some similarity with a boy's body, the softer flesh, daintier bones, delicate features... you have no frame of reference. You've been thrown into a gendered ocean and expected to swim.
A funny metaphor, since right after thinking it, your first instinct to block the barrage of sensations is to make for the pool and jump in. A foamy shockwave spreads around you, bathing other teenagers (today, and on all Wednesdays, the pool gives discounts to high schoolers) and drawing laughs and profanity. Under water, surrounded by blue, the only sensation that survives immersion in water is the faint bobbing of your hair and breasts. Otherwise... peace, reprieve. You briefly forget you have swapped genders and assumed a life you still can't pin a name to.
Bursting through the surface, you wipe your eyes and laugh. You test a few paddles with your arms and find your new body is much more comfortable in the water. Maybe she's a swimmer, you think, but you set most thoughts aside in favor of swimming around the pool, maneuvering about people and focusing on the act of propulsion. Some awareness of your body returns--you can't escape it for too long--but you find a way to walk the line between seeing fully and intentional blindness.
But ignorance can only last so long, even self-enforced ignorance. You take a deep breath, ready to plunge in a second time, when...
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