It had been a day of relaxation for Marlin - a rare moment where nobody had come to him seeking magical aid, and he'd been able to sit back with his pipe and a good tome.
It had been a day of relaxation, anyway, until Princess Fia had shown up, bored and looking for something to amuse herself with. Quick to dispose of her presence, he had shooed her over to the box of Fairly-Safe-Magical-Artifacts and returned to his book.
"Marlin, what does this do?"
He glanced up to examine the wand she was holding in her hand. It was a simply-crafted, short, oak wand, engraved with runes. "Oh, that's the Wand of Useful Implements. It can change anything into anything, for 24 hours at least."
"Anything into anything?" the Princess asked. He had returned to his book, and was so engrossed in it that he didn't catch the mischevious tone in her voice.
"That's what I said," he said.
Grinning malevolently, the Princess waved the wand towards the oblivious wizard, transforming him into -
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