Braydon’s offer seems very tempting. Your fun days making magic masks and all that implies seem over—mostly, as he has offered your mask and Natalie’s as a compromise—but this would be a good way to keep your hand in.
And perhaps, get something else out of that deal.
But it only takes a little more thinking to realize that it was sharing that got you into that problem in the first place. You weren’t even interested in showing this stuff to Natalie in the first place, when you thought she was cooler than she ended up being. Now you realize the depths of your folly.
But you still feel a connection to her. Call her immature all you want, it’d be like saying that to you. And you also did some reckless actions—like giving her that key, for one.
So, you see this as a mixed blessing. The book’s out of your hands, so if Natalie’s interested in you, it’ll have to be without the wacky hijinks it brings. And while you’re not sure if it’ll end up in good hands, you sense that, at least, Braydon doesn’t seem to hold anything against you.
You shake your head. "Thanks for the offer, but... no thanks."
"Chickening out?" That’d affect you if you were younger, but you know better.
"Not really. Just... grew out of it." You see his expression sour a bit, but it’s when you reject the masks he's trying to give you—yours and Natalie’s—that he realizes you’re being very serious.
"Oh well," he responds. "Could’ve been fun."
"Oh, and sorry about trying to break you two up. It was Natalie’s idea, but I went along with it."
"She can be a distraction sometimes," he mutters. "But she’s the best thing that has happened to me."
Now you feel extremely guilty. That’s a side of Braydon Delp you didn’t imagine seeing. "Tell Gillian the same. And tell Natalie I had to leave early. Maybe it'll help fix things between you too if you give her a ride home. See ya, man." You awkwardly shake hands as you ride your truck back home, deep in thought.
—
Saturday sees you downright harassed by Natalie’s calls and texts. She wonders why you left her there, and what exactly you spoke with Braydon about. She even says she "broke up" with Gillian, and though it’s difficult to judge tone through text, she sounds desperate.
Perhaps it’s that, or the several phone calls you’ve purposefully ignored. Only when you text her that you want some time to think does she stop, and even then, she lets out one last, spiteful and painful text. does that mean u n I r no longer frns?
It’s not like you don’t want to. Your life’s been entertaining since she’s around, but you feel exhausted at keeping a leash on her. If this hadn’t happened—if Gillian hadn’t found out, and you still had the book—perhaps you would’ve suggested another swap during the weekend. (You admit that part of the swap was fun, but school? Hell no.)
There’s one more sequel to this twist of events. Just as a distraction, you revisit the community center, to check if your padlock is there. (Not having the book doesn’t mean it can’t be a secret hangout.) But sadly, it has been changed, and this time they've substituted a sturdier one, which looks like it will be impossible to crack open with bolt cutters.
Great, you think to yourself. Not even my hiding place’s safe.
Church on Sunday doesn’t give you peace of mind either. The echo of Braydon telling you about being up to "the devil’s business" makes you feel a stranger, and you idly wonder if you should reconcile with God, but that little pest of your brother snaps it out of your mind. "Yo, you look glum. Your chick left you?"
"No, I left her." Your response sounds harsher than it sounds. And wrong.
At home, when you turn your phone back on, you check to see if Natalie has texted you, but she is still silent. You reread that last exchange, and you wonder if you really broke up with her. That makes the rest of your day feel darker and heavier.
You send her a text, wondering if she’s alright. im okay is her response, but it really doesn’t seem like it. You ask her if she wants to hang out, but she refuses. gotta do hmwk. That reminds you—you've left your homework sidelined, and you completely forgot to write and turn in a paper about the time capsule that was due on Friday. You arranged with Mr. Walberg to deliver it late, but you won’t get any better than a D—and that’s if it’s spectacular—which makes you’re glad that at least Natalie is taking her own work seriously.
Perhaps you should start doing the same.
—
You dread the coming of Monday, for fear of mystery and adventure and possible fakes buzzing around you. You suffer a very bad turn in second period, when Keith swears he saw you across the street at the car wash over the weekend, while he was at work, but when you tell him it wasn't you he just nods and says, "It must'a been your double," which doesn't make you feel any better.
And in English, you don't even look in Braydon's direction.
You are settling in to do homework in Study Hall when you notice Gillian on the opposite side of the library. You remember how hurt Natalie sounded about their "break-up", so you approach her. "Hey."
"Hey," she replies, though not effusively.
"Listen." You start to pull out the chair next to her, then shift to the seat opposite. "I’m sorry about all that happened. It’s my fault it got out of control."
"What happened happened. No need to dwell on it." She chews on the end of her pencil. "Though it’s gotten Braydon more distracted than usual. Well, whatever." She looks at you, puzzled. "I thought you’d want to keep those things. You know. The ones of—"
"They’re nothing but trouble. Figured that"—you can’t believe the words that are about to come out of your mouth—"if I want to be with Natalie, I don’t need that."
That draws a smile out of all that steel. "Glad to hear that."
"I thought Natalie told me that you two, and I quote, ‘broke up’."
She shakes her head. "She’s blowing things outta proportion. Yes, I told her I didn’t wanna speak to her, but only while I sort things out. I can’t believe she tried to split me and Braydon apart!"
"She doesn’t understand why you and Braydon are together."
"Nobody does. It just is. She should feel happy for us." Her expression brightens ever so slightly. "Maybe if she understood what it is to be in love, she’d understand why we’re together." She snaps her notebook shut. "Gonna hang out with her this afternoon?"
"No. I also need some time to think."
"Those are the worst words you can tell someone who’s interested in you." She cups her hand and rests her chin on it. "What made you try to break us up?"
You feel uncomfortable with the questioning, but being shady was part of the problem, so you open up. "I guess it was her emotions getting mixed up with mine. Had to take me being in her mind to realize my old girlfriend dumped me ‘cos she thinks I’m immature."
"She thinks it's same with her and me?"
"Yeah. So I felt some kinship with her. She feels you dumped her out for Braydon."
She laughs. "Yeah, I figured that out last Friday. But I didn’t dump her—I just have other interests. And I wanted you two to hook up so she’d understand." She cocks a meaningful eyebrow at you. "I didn't realize you two were even better-suited for each other than I thought."
So, she had her own plans too. You feel terrible for your ill-fated plan, but most importantly, for not being Natalie’s support. The least you can do is mend that broken relationship. "Gillian. Can you forgive her? She didn’t mean wrong."
"I still need time. She did something awful to my hubby. I can’t forgive her until she learns that lesson. I don’t have anything against her, just— She needs to grow up."
Grow up. Natalie won’t like that.
"But I’m glad you’re interested in her. You’re what she needs." She taps your hand and rubs it. "Don’t ruin that."
—
Once school’s out, you try texting Natalie once more. hey. wanna hng out?
She replies quickly. cant. dad grounded me up. genny askd if u wantd 2 hng out, tho.
Right. Genny—Genevieve. The girl that started spreading out that rumor that you two were together. The one that caused Natalie that headache with Alyssa. She’s trying to set you up, just because she probably feels guilty, or she thinks you dumped her—or maybe as a twisted act of revenge? You don’t know with her.
You’re not given enough time to respond when she follows up with shes waiting 4 u @ old state thtr.
If this is an act of revenge, perhaps you can turn it into your favor. You could tell Genevieve that you were confused about your feelings with Natalie, try to swat out those feelings she may have for you, while accepting yours.
But that won’t help if Natalie doesn’t know first.
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