This choice: Maria's right; hang out with her • Go Back...Chapter #45An Influential Mind by: rugal b.   Lisa Roxanne Yarborough.
It's a name that echoes itself in your head as everything serves to make you very aware that, for now, this is who you are. The clothes laying in a pile not far from you certainly belong to a girl named Lisa. The soft underwear you slip on is not something Will Prescott would ever wear nor is the bra that you spend too long fumbling with before something clicks and you're finally able to get it on properly. The jeans that tightly hug soft thighs, the blouse cut low enough to expose plenty of cleavage, the fashionable ankle boots and soft green coat... all of it belongs to Lisa Yarborough so if you're wearing them then you must be Lisa, right?
And while flashes of her life are constantly floating in and out, threatening to overwhelm, you feel like you even if just barely. You'd like to keep that distinction, the one that exists separating Will Prescott from Lisa Yarborough, in place so the idea of immediately going out somewhere as her is out of the question as is going home.
Home...
You feel a twinge in the back of your head and in your chest. No, you most certainly do not want to go home yet. So you make a decision on just how to spend your time for the next little while and before exiting head over to that mirror to give yourself a once over.
Ostensibly you want to make sure everything's in place, reaffirm what you look like and make sure nothing's missing. But you can't stop yourself from reacting in shock when you get over to that mirror and see yourself, nor can you get yourself to move. It's enough to make you question who you are for just a moment because the face you see is Lisa's face... your face. When you move your face, Lisa moves her's. When you move an arm, so too does Lisa.
You're freaking out, girl! Of course you're seeing yourself because it's you! You're Lisa Roxxane Yarborough, you're yourself. You're not... Will Prescott?
That sobers you up and allows you to stop Lisa's mind from overwhelming your own. Thrown into a situation like this, having another's mind that you have to try and tame as it jostles for position inside your own head... it's tough! That reinforces your belief that you'll be spending your time right. You fight the temptation to do anything more to yourself and head out of the unit and into the adjoining one that houses the studio.
Inside you see yourself -- Will Prescott -- dressed in all of your... finest. Jeez, you really do come off as immature viewing yourself from the outside. But it still activates a hundred different thoughts and emotions that you absolutely do not want to try and sort through right now so you're very stern when you speak to him.
"Go home."
"Huh?" he asks, obviously confused.
"Get out of here, go home or do... something. Something normal for you," you tell him. "And tomorrow, don't seek me out please. Actually, when you leave here text Reagan and see if she's free, tell her things changed rapidly. If not, try and set something up for tomorrow with her."
"Jeez, you want me to rub your feet while you're at it?" he grumbles.
"Just go!" you exclaim gesturing towards the door and, still grumbling, he makes his exit.
"Right to the point," Eva laughs. Jessica, staying quiet, hangs back. "So you ready to hang out Lisa?" she asks putting special emphasis on your assumed name.
"Sure," you reply, "just not with you. But I'll talk to you guys tomorrow, okay?"
* * * * *
"While I can't say I'm overly enthusiastic about your choice I can say that I'm at least glad you're now taking things slowly."
Having headed to the Crystal Cave, as it'll be less packed than some of the other coffee shops and thus lessen the chance of having to pull off an impersonation, you slowly sip your latte before responding. "I'm just not sure of my ability to pull of an impersonation right off the bat," you admit, "and I figured I was better easing into it with you than the others."
"Understandable, it takes a while for the memories to come in after all."
That causes you a bit of small shock. "What do you mean?" you ask.
"It usually takes some hours before you get everything," she explains, "often an entire night's sleep."
"That's weird because it felt like I had it all," you state.
Maria nods. "Yes, well, some times you might get a flash here or there but--"
"But that's not what I mean," you cut her off. "I mean I had it all. Like I was confused about just who I was when I woke up and I had to fight for a bit to make sure I was still me. It doesn't feel as bad but for a little bit at first, I felt like I was in danger of losing myself to Lisa completely."
Maria's eyes widen for a second before narrowing. She focuses on you, seemingly analyzing you, before her expression softens and she grabs her own drink. "That's very interesting," she says before taking a sip.
"Was it like that for all of you?" you ask. "Having to wait to get everything?"
"As far as I'm aware," she answers.
"So I'm, what, special or something?" you respond in surprise. "I mean if I have it all already..."
She titters a bit but shakes her head. "I don't think that makes you special, that seems kind of absurd," she states. "More likely, it might not be the same for everyone and some people might get hit with everything at once. Maybe your relationship with Lisa and having her on your mind affected it as well. But are you able to separate everything? Recall anything specific?"
You're not even sure how you'd do that or what, specifically, you'd be looking for. "I mean I have a few basics like, uh, her address but it's still kind of jumbled," you admit.
"Mhm," she nods, "so you'll still need time to get used to it, same as the rest of us even if the circumstances are a little bit different. You're definitely not ready to impersonate her around her friends or family."
Something about that causes another twinge deep in your subconscious and you're not sure why. Maybe you're just impressed by how sound of an explanation that is. "It must be frustrating for you," you say without really thinking, "you know being an airhead like that." You notice Maria's look and yelp in shock. "No no! I mean, um, you're not an airhead of course but Maria is, uh, you know..." You sigh in frustration. "I don't really know what I mean. It just slipped out."
"I understand what you mean and it's not as bad as you'd think," she replies. "Maria's a... unique individual to be sure. But I like the uniqueness. I'm enjoying myself."
"Well, I mean with looks like that who wouldn't enjoy it?" you ask rhetorically. "But even still, you're a smart guy so I can't imagine how tough it has to be pretending you're not the smartest person in any room."
"Is that what you think?" asks Maria with an almost playful smirk that takes you by surprise. "I told you, far less frustrating than you'd think."
It's not frustrating being perceived by everyone around you as a ditz? As flighty and unreliable and even empty-headed even if you are plenty intelligent? You're having a hard time believing it... maybe because you don't want to believe it. You're not sure why but seeing Fairfax's contentment with his situation isn't sitting right with you. If you're being honest it's actually beginning to frustrate you a little bit. How could someone like him, how could anyone, be content with something like that?
So you try to continue the discussion of the masks, of what you'll be doing and other subjects (Maria brings up something about getting "another beta") but you've long stopped paying attention as those thoughts continued to set root inside your head so you eventually thank her for all of her help and what she's done for you but that you really need to get going. You ask if you'll see her in school tomorrow and she tells you that you share sixth.
You can't help but mutter that you knew that before gathering your stuff and leaving.
* * * * *
Home.
Lisa Yarborough's home.
When you were with her over the summer you never actually went over. Well, you came over to pick her up once or twice but you never really went inside or hung out. That was at Lisa's insistence and jokingly you'd wonder if it was because she found you embarrassing but she'd insisted that wasn't it at all. She just didn't like spending time at home because there was always stuff to do away from it that she didn't want to miss out on.
But you have a weird feeling deep in the pit of your gut that you can't shake as you pull into the driveway. Excitement maybe? Lisa's house looks fairly normal, a little nicer than your own maybe but nothing weird or off-putting about it, at least visually. Because it hits you that feeling isn't one of excitement. No, it's one of dread and unease.
You can feel that Lisa wasn't lying when she said she didn't like spending time at home. But though you're having a hard time placing the specifics, you can tell that she wasn't being entirely truthful with her reasoning. Something about that word, "home", does not inspire positive feelings in you. You have the following choice: 1. Continue |
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