Chapter #31Inside a Stellae by: Seuzz   Joe claps you on the knee. "You'll wanna spend a little while in there. I'll take off. Call me tomorrow. You'll know how to reach me." With a rolling saunter he leaves.
You lay back on the sofa and put the band to your forehead.
* * * * *
You stare through the telescope eyepiece at the blurry disk. "That's-- Is that really where we get our powers?" you gasp.
"It's a little more complicated than that, Giuseppe," says the man you've come to call "Dad." His voice is gentle and warm, but there's a little gravel in it, as befits a man with white whiskers and a balding pate. "That is just a planet. Your ousiarch--" You feel him touch your chest. "You'll feel him here when the time comes."
"So why am I looking at Mars if that isn't--?"
"Because it's neat!" That's Franz, the little blonde kid Dad brought back from Europe last year. "Come on! Let me see!"
But you're bigger and stronger than him, and he can only push you one step to the side. Still, your head hits the telescope as you tussle. "Whoa there, boys," Dad says, and gently pulls you apart. "We'll put the telescope away before someone breaks it."
"But I didn't get a chance to see!" Franz wails.
"It'll still be there tomorrow night, son," Dad says. "It's been there for millions of years, and it'll be there tomorrow. In a few months we'll be able to look at Saturn, too." He picks the lens cap up off the grass. "Now go clean your rooms, and we'll have a little ice cream before bedtime."
"I still don't understand what's so important about the planets," you grumble as you and your "little brother" trudge back into the house.
"They're our ousiarchs," Franz sighs. "Don't you understand anything?"
"You don't understand," you hotly retort. "You're just pretending."
"You're so dumb. That's how come you think I'm dumb."
As he opens the back door, you shove him hard, sending him sprawling. "You think you're so smart, because you--"
He grins up at you in that infuriating way when you can't finish the sentence. "I'm smarter than you because the Sun is one of my planets," he says smugly.
"The Sun isn't a planet," you sneer. "I know that."
He rolls his eyes. "It is according to Dad, and he's smarter than everyone else in the world put together. The Sun is one of his planets, too. Well, one of his ousiarchs."
"But those aren't planets," you shout. "Dad said--"
"They're connected to the planets," he says. "It's like with chicken pox." You scratch uneasily at your chest, and Franz smirks lightly. "You knew you have chicken pox because you had those spots and all that itching. But chicken pox is a virus inside you." He sounds very proud about knowing all this. "It's inside you, but it's connected to the spots and the itching. So the ousiarchs are inside us, but they're connected to the planets. Doctors see the chicken pox by looking at the spots, and we can study the ousiarchs by looking at the planets."
"Did Dad explain all that to you," you ask dubiously.
"No. I just--"
"Then you're just making it up," you sneer, and Franz turns pink. "If the ousiarchs are inside us, why do I have to look at the planets?"
"You don't," he groans. "If you don't want to, and there's something wrong with you if you don't think the planets are neat."
"I didn't say--"
"It's like that cross you pray to every night."
"I don't pray to the crucifix!"
"I know you don't. But it helps you think of the person you are praying to, right? Because it's like a symbol?" You glower at him. "It's like the same thing with the planets. Looking at the planets helps you concentrate on the ousiarchs."
You let it drop, because the subject is giving you a headache. But Franz's comparison to the crucifix raises another problem, and after finishing your chores and having your reward, you go looking for Dad. He gives you a querying glance as you lurk nervously in the doorway to his parlor.
"Why didn't the fathers at the orphanage tell us about the planets and the ousiarchs?" you ask him.
"They didn't know about them," Dad says. "It's a very great secret."
"Why? Is there something bad about them?" Fear clutches at your little heart. "I don't want to learn about this stuff if-- Did God make the ousiarchs?"
"Yes, He did, Giuseppe," Dad says, and puts out his hand. Your doubt and fear balance against a desire to believe him, but you let him tug you close. "You don't have to worry about--"
"But if the Church doesn't know about--"
"Some in the Church do," Dad says. "You'll meet a Father soon who knows all about the ousiarchs. He has them too. God made many wonderful things, like elephants and ousiarchs. The Church doesn't teach us about elephants, and it doesn't teach us about ousiarchs. But it teaches us how we should treat them, and honor them. And we only teach good boys and girls about the ousiarchs. You're a good boy, Giuseppe," he says, and draws you into his lap. "You've nothing to worry about. As long as you're a good boy, you'll use your gifts the way God wants you to use them. That's why He gave you those gifts."
"I will be a good boy," you say fervently, and hug your adoptive father.
* * * * *
"It's exciting, isn't it, Giuseppe?" Kali Valentine says. Her tone is dry, arched, amused.
You feel your cheeks flush, and swallow. Your hand is trembling, but the drinking glass--unsupported by an visible means--hangs motionless in the air. Not a ripple disturbs the surface of the water.
Kali is here, and so is Franz. Your "brother" is staring at the glass with astonishment, and it pleases you to see the pleasure in his gaze. He turns his face toward you, and his eyes shine.
You grin back, but don't lose your concentration. It is only you and Franz and Kali in this empty landscape of rust-colored dunes and rocks; the open sky is black above you. But it's not Mars. It's Malacandra, one of your ousiarchs, that surrounds you, and through your limbs you feel its iron power, stretching through you and grasping the glass. But it's your will bending and guiding that power.
The power. A hard thrill goes through you, and you shudder hard. That thing in your jeans is stirring too, and it rises, rock hard and bursting with a shuddering power of its own. You gasp and twist, trying to force it down. Your hand spasms, and the glass shatters.
Malacandra vanishes, and you're back in Kali's Los Angeles apartment. You hang your head, but Kali smiles, and without a reprimand goes into the kitchen. You crouch on the floor, to pick at the glass shards, but also to hide the shameful erection you'd given yourself. Franz kneels to help you, and you shove him away. You made the mess and you should be the one to clean it up. So when Kali returns with the dustpan and mop and paper towels, you take them from her.
"These powers are dangerous, aren't they?" you say quietly when you find her in her office an hour later, after she has guided Franz through his own meditation exercise.
"Of course they are, child," she says.
"Then what's to keep--? Have any Stellae done bad things with them?"
"Yes," she says quietly. "We call it 'retrograde motion' when it happens. Anyone can go bad. Even Stellae."
"What happens when they do?"
"That's not something to worry about," she says. "It will be part of your training, to stop that from happening."
"But if it does happen, if it has happened--?"
"That's why we have friends and colleagues," she says. "To help us stay true. You will always have Charles and Franz and me, and we'll always have you, to help us."
"So how does it happen?"
"You're too young to worry about it, child. The fact that you do worry shows that you don't need to."
Her words don't still your sense of unease, but you accept them.
* * * * *
You're a little dizzy and confused, what with the crush of memories and perceptions. You are, of course, deeply impressed by and envious of the powers you see in Frank's memories, but as a Stellae you will have similar powers.
But you're also impressed by the--
Well, there's no other word to describe it. You're impressed by the sheer decency of the people you see in Frank's memories. Sure, some of them are assholes, and many of them are difficult personalities. By they are trying very hard, in a dirty world, to do the right thing. Fighting monsters. Saving people from nasty and occult things. Fixing the problems caused by people like Blackwell.
Fixing problems caused by people like yourself.
And here you are, perverting two of their agents.
* * * * *
You're still sitting on the couch, staring intently ahead, when Melody comes in. She's got her arms folded, and she looks worried. "Hey boss," she says. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not a huge fan of those guys. I liked it better when it was just us."
"You already said that."
"You're wearing one of their mind bands now, right?" she asks. You don't reply. "What do you think after getting an inside look?" | Members who added to this interactive story also contributed to these: |
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