Chapter #19A Day with a Golem by: Seuzz   Mmmmm. Tempting. But-- "Until we get a new clubhouse, we should keep our stuff here," you say. "I'd feel safer if one of us kept an eye on things."
"It'll only be a day or two," Caleb says.
"Things can always go wrong, and they usually do when you're involved," you retort. "Seriously, though, we'd have to leave our own duplicates in charge. And if we could do something stupid, how likely are they?"
"Good point," he allows. The mask reappears on Jessica's face; Caleb grabs it and falls onto his back. "But first things first. Take care of sleeping beauty for me, will ya? I'll be making myself some boobies." He places the mask on his face.
You drop the mask of Caleb onto the still-sleeping Jessica, and the transformation is almost instantaneous. The new Caleb sits bolt upright and looks around wildly; the Eva golem rolls her eyes and turns away with a snicker. "Anything happen?" Caleb's replacement asks cautiously.
"Yeah, you moved about ten inches to the right and had a sex change," you reply. He follows your eyes to Caleb, whose form is distorting and shifting. A moment later Jessica appears, though still dressed in Caleb's clothes.
While waiting for Caleb to wake, you wander over to the Jeremy golem, which is reclining against an old desk. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" you mutter.
"Because you guys are morons and you're going to fuck up," he replies.
"Are you going to be this way when we let you out to replace the real Richards," you ask. "You know, a dick?"
"You want your duplicates acting like the originals, don't you?" Before you can answer him, you turn at a shriek and a smack. Jessica is now glaring at the Caleb golem, who has his palm against his cheek. Apparently the fake Caleb was as interested in Jessica's boobies as the real one is.
* * * * *
Everyone splits up shortly afterward. The Jeremy mask comes off the golem; Caleb's golem goes to his house. Caleb-as-Jessica runs out to get some cash for you, then goes home with Eva. You drive around town picking up supplies for some varnish and a new set of masks. It's getting dark by the time you're done, so you really only have time at the clubhouse to golemize the interior of the Jeremy Richards mask; you'll take it to school tomorrow and pass it along to the real Caleb. As you watch the mask burn, you idly wonder why no one ever used these spells to take over the world. Naturally, that leads to the paranoid thought that maybe they already have, and that their minions will come looking for you and the book. Or maybe there is some aspect to the golem spell that prevents them from being used this way. You glare at the book, whose torn page prevents you from getting any further into it, and wonder what kind of trouble you may be getting into.
Beyond the highly immoral trouble of kidnapping and replacing some of your classmates with doppelgangers.
* * * * *
But whatever doubts you feel about your ethics evaporate the next morning when Keith appears at school before class. To hoots and whistles and jeers he walks up to the main doors while holding his jeans tucked neatly under his arm. At least his long shirt hides his tidy whiteys; on the other hand, the lack of anything resembling pants makes him look even more humiliatingly naked. On the sidewalk Seth Javits--Keith's bete noir--smirks as his victim makes this pantsless perp walk.
You avoid compounding his humiliation, by not talking about it. (Nor do you mention it to Caleb when you see him at Jessica's locker and pass along the golemized Jeremy mask.) Instead, you try to make him feel better by keeping close to him all day, laughing at his jokes and sharing as many of yours as you can muster.
This is actually hard to pull off, because you are also trying to keep a close eye on Caleb's replacement. Relations had worsened between it and Caleb after the matter of who would get to touch Jessica's breasts, until you had to step in and force the golem to back down. That and the warning (from Richards' golem, no less) about how stupid your replacements might be leads you to keep a watchful eye on him at all times, and to stick close. And yet you have a hard time finding things to say to him; knowing that the Caleb you're hanging around is a fake, you find yourself unnerved and tongue-tied in his presence. For its part, it tries acting like the real Caleb, making sarcastic asides about various school "celebrities" and remarking on the quality of various bosoms, but soon it too seems baffled by your morbid attentions. Finally, while sitting outside eating lunch with you and Tilley, it explodes.
"Look, I'm not going fuck your shit up, dude," he suddenly shouts after you fail to answer one of his gibes. "So you can stop following me around and staring at me like I'ma fucking perp and you're a narc!"
You rear back, and Keith stares with bread and baloney hanging out his mouth. "The fuck is with you two?" he asks in a voice that sounds all the dumber for being muffled by sandwich meats.
Well that's just great: Caleb's idiot golem had to lose his shit in front of Tilley. You shove him. He glances at Keith, and then shoves you back. Soon you are rolling on the grass, unmindful of the hollers as other students start to notice. Before it can become a real brawl, though, Keith forces the two of you apart. "Okay, seriously, what is going on?" he demands.
Caleb hesitates, looking uncertainly at you, then blurts out: "We're just working on a project and he thinks I'm going to fuck it up."
"And you just about did!" you shout, then catch yourself. If you're not careful, you will be the one to give everything away. You stab a finger at the golem. "Not one word, to Tilley or anyone else. Not one word about you know what." You stalk away.
* * * * *
But you have to give the fake Caleb this much credit; he had the sense to find you afterward. True, it was at clubhouse, and it had an unexpected sequel, but at least he apologized. Sort of.
You were sitting on the floor of the school basement, having just golemized your own mask, when he came in. "Thought I'd find you here," he says.
"You coulda called and asked where I was."
"Wasn't sure you wanted to talk to me."
"Not sure I do, but probably I should. What's up?"
He runs his hand through his short, tightly curled hair. "I'm sorry I lost my temper in front of Tilley. I almost blew the whole thing up, didn't I?"
"As long as you didn't tell him afterward what was up, it's all cool. Did you?"
He shakes his head emphatically. "He kept bugging me, and I finally told him to fuck off." He looks around the room and starts pulling at stuff. "I like Tilley. He cares about people, even if he's stupid and uses that weird soap that makes him smell funny."
"Well, I'm sorry I kept treating you weird. But I know Caleb, and ... Well, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not sure this book makes copies that are smarter than the originals."
He smiles wanly, and you can tell the joke doesn't amuse. "I should be doubly insulted, as Caleb and as a golem. It sucks, you know."
"Being a fake?" He nods. "Why?"
"Well, how'd you feel if you knew you were a fake? And if the real you--and his friends--having fun while leaving all the shitty work to you?" You follow his glance to the molds you've lined up for making some new masks. "Gonna be a hell of a lot of fun polishing those things up for you."
"Yeah, but you're not real," you reply. "How can it feel fun or not fun if you're not real?"
"If I'm not feeling real not-fun ... or whatever ... Well, then I'm suffering one hell of an illusion."
You peer at it closely. "That's what you would say, right, if you were only pretending to be a real person. There's nothing inside you. It's all just clever imitation on the outside. Including saying things like 'I'm not having fun'."
He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I've seen that old 'Star Trek' episode too, every one of the dozen times they made it. Didn't know you were a Data-hater."
You puzzle briefly over the confusion of "Data-hater" and "data hater," and are about to reply, but then the door opens again. This time it's Tilley.
"There you are." His eyes widen. "Both of you. Jesus, Caleb, didn't you see me honking and flashing my lights at you?"
Caleb turns white and shoots you a terrified glance. "When?"
"Just now. I saw you driving along and tried to flag you down. Followed you over but didn't see where you went. Then I remembered this old place of ours. Still the same, huh?" He looks around, and catches sight of the work you have spread before you. "What's this," he asks, stepping forward. "Is this that project you were fighting about at school?"  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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